When the shatiaan has given this topic [marriage] so much attention, why should we not give marriage this type of attention when shaitaan has given this topic so much more attention? It seems that shaitaan has a vested interest in separating husband and wife. And it’s one of those things that he celebrates a lot more with respect to sins that him and his troops they achieve and this was mentioned categorically in a Hadith.
The Prophet (S.A.W.S) said:
“Iblis places his throne upon water; he then sends detachments (for creating dissension between people); the nearer to him in rank are those who are most notorious in creating dissension. One of them comes and says: “I did so and so.” And he says: “You have done nothing.” Then one amongst them comes and says: “I did not spare so and so until I sowed the seed of discord between a husband and a wife.” Shaytaan goes near him and says: “You have done well.” He then embraces him”
(Sahih Muslim and narrated by Jabir Ibn ‘Abdullah).
The fact that, divorce is on the rise. in my own personal and short experience in the Islamic Council of Europe out of every 10 cases That are supposed to be mediating between people in every Avenue of life whether Financial, marital or whatever It may be out of every ten or so cases. I would say maybe nine of them are our divorce related, maybe more so we have a problem, shaitaan is working and many of these marriages could have been fixed. This is our motto We want to mend it rather than ending it. We want to find Solutions and divorced undoubtedly is a window that Allah has provided if all other options fail.
Look at what happens to the children? Iain Duncan Smith said Who emerge from broken homes are nine times more likely to commit crime then those children who come out from stable homes. That is a worrying statistic.
Look at the individual cost that happens when a husband and wife are falling out. Look at what happens to him what heart from an emotional psychological perspective.
The Perfect relationship between husband and wife doesn’t exist, why? Because, that doesn’t exist in Dunya. It exists in Jannah, but not in Dunya. – Shaykh Ali Hammuda
6:39 in the town of Amwas, Caliph Omar Ibn Khattab (ra), the Muslims had just entered into Jerusalem. And suddenly this plague breaks out, taeun breaks out.
This one taeun (plague) Amwas was not nearly as significant as that except that it took hundreds of sahaba, thousands of TABAYYUN.
Umar ibn khattab (ra) was the khalifa’. He heard about it. Umar ibn khattab (Ra) decided to make his way over to al-Sham to be with his people. Umar (ra) was a man who if the people were suffering he wanted to suffer with them. As he was about to enter, some of the sahaba came to meet him to sort of inform him about the situation as is taking place.
Ubaidah ibn al-Jarrah (Ra) who was of course the leader at that time. He came out to Umar (ra) and Umar (ra) asked him about the situation. Abu Ubaidah (ra) said we are falling like sheep. People are dying right and left. So Umar (Ra) started to take shura (consultation) from the people started to consult from them about what his next step should be. Most of the people told Umar (ra) it’s important for you to go back to medina And even if you survive this then you might take some of its effects back to Medina and imagine this spreading through Medina as well.
So, Umar (ra) listened to the to them and when the stakes were not just his health, but the stakes were the entire ummah that this means that Medina could suffer that the khilafah could fall apart that so much could happen… Umar (ra) obviously thinking about the survival of Islam. He’s not thinking about himself. So Umar (ra) said if that’s the case, then we should go back. Abu Ubaidah (ra) says a very famous statement to him. He says, yeah, Amir al-Mu’minin Oh commander of the Believers. Are you running away from the decree of Allah subhanahu wa’ta’ala?
The most famous moments of Umar (Ra) entering into Jerusalem we are people who Allah honoured through Islam. if we seek it through other than Islam Allah will humiliate us.
Umar (ra) said we are fleeing from the decree of Allah To the decree of Allah. , tawakkul, trust in Allah is not foolishness. Trust in Allah is to do your part and then put your trust in Allah (swt) To intentionally Put Yourself In Harm’s Way, or to not take harm seriously because you say it’s okay. Allah will take care of it. It’s all right, that’s not courage. That’s not trust in Allah (swt). Allah tells us to do our part to protect ourselves and to do what’s best to avoid harm.
Abd al-Rahman ibn ‘Awf(ra) approached the Gathering. Abd al-Rahman ibn ‘Awf (ra) said I have some knowledge of this from the prophet salallahu alaihe Salam. He said I heard the prophet (saw) says if you hear about that plague has strucka land then do not enter into that land and if it strikes a place and you are in it then do not leave that place.
That’s the key word right, quarantine right, this idea of trying to contain the harm in one place as much as possible. Be patient seek, the mercy of Allah subhanahu wa’ta’ala and everything will proceed as he decrees.
This is pretty much what the prophet (saw) the hikmah, the wisdom of the prophet (saw), the mercy of the prophet (saw) in the way He’s teaching us to keep things contained into areas as much as possible.
when something similar struck Medina Umar (ra) went out of his way to suffer the worst of what the people suffered, So Umar (ra) almost died in the the drought that would strike Medina. In fact, subhanAllah has a beautiful statement from Umar (ra) that once he was sitting was so hungry. Death was so imminent. He hadn’t eaten for so long that his stomach was making noises. Omar (ra) he’s tapped his stomach and he said you could growl or not growl. I swear you will not be filled until the Muslims eat.
We are on earth right now where we have people around us who keep judging in a way that distracts us. People look at you, they judge you, they judge you based on what? based on your color, They judge you based on your complexion, sometimes on your height, sometimes on your size, sometimes on your nationality, Sometimes perhaps on something.. They judge you based on so many things; so much springs to my mind. They judge you based on your sins.
Allah judges you but he’s the only one who never judges based on your sin. Allah judges, you based on your repentance La ilaha Illa Allah.
People will never forgive the sin you’ve committed even if you’ve changed your life, totally in most cases they won’t… that humankind. Allah is the most merciful, the most forgiving, the most compassionate, the most kind the most good, etc.
Allah gets so happy when people turn to him. Allah says We wipe out your sins, Allah said, you know what let alone wipe out your sins. Whatever sins you’ve committed, We want to convert them into Good Deeds on the right side of your scale because you changed your life. You’re such a lovely person, never ever be let’s down by your past. Leave your past behind forget about it.
Divorce Yourself from toxic, people who might be in your circle of friends so much so that if it is a spouse who is toxic, Allah allows you to actually come out of it.
That is insulting, heaven lies at the feet of your mother is actually a statement that is sometimes used as religious blackmail to keep the person under the spell of a mother when the mother is toxic. And really nasty evil person who won’t even be subhanallah, who won’t be your door to Paradise, Not at all.
May ALlah make it such that people bear witness that we are really good people.
Allah Judges you based on your repentance not on your sin. Allah says your pasts can actually become the biggest blessing no matter how negative it was. When you just turn to Allah, that is between you and Allah. Allah is here for you.
Sometimes you’re going through a divorce and you know what you went through it Once it was so painful. Divorce is never the end of the world. It might just be the beginning of your life. there will come a time when ease will come through, you go through a divorce. You’re not the first person you’ll never be the last one. It may not be Be your first divorce, you might go through it again. And again and who knows the third, the fourth person, you’re gonna get to through marriage is going to be wow! The king of your dreams. subhanAllah, it can happen.
Man is such that when we’re going through the issue. It’s the end of the world. It’s not, just ride this for now, you know, the waves are coming in just ride the wave for now and you lay low for a little while. Thank Allah develop your relationship with Allah. A day will come when you will have the last laugh and always as they say he who laughs last laughs the best.
You say o Allah, forgive me, It is a massive act of worship because you’re acknowledging that Allah is the owner of forgiveness, Allah is the owner of goodness. He’s the owner of punishment. He’s the owner of everything.
There is a hope for everyone, the worst from amongst us. There is a hope for and the best from amongst us must not become so proud and arrogant. – Mufti Menk
The brightest children are not always the most successful on Earth and I want to tell you something else to prove that your education and your wealth are not necessarily connected… Allah makes some of the wealthiest from amongst us, some of the least educated, do you guys agree?
This is why you know what? I really feel hurt when people sometimes see a successful businessman, A person who is doing really well and then they make an issue out of the fact that this person has not gotten a degree or whatever else so they cannot marry our daughter.
But what was the point of going to school in the first place to earn a living? This man earns the living without having gotten that degree.
Work hard inshallah as best as you can and enjoy the days you have, even if you’re at a workplace things are tough.
Life will be challenging. people will judge you. It’s not your fault. It’s not you who is sick. It is them.
A proposal has come in your direction from a person whom you are satisfied with their level of Deen which means their closeness to Allah, their religion, they don’t have to be you know, so Pious but on an acceptable level perhaps they read their Salah, they are responsible in their relationship with Allah and secondly, Their character and conduct is of an acceptable level. If you have those two then let it happen.
And you know what the Hadith says if you don’t oh, this is We say it we repeat it and we see parents do exactly the opposite and face the same consequences mentioned by the prophet (saw) and they blame everyone else.
So the Hadith says if good character came to you with decent deen. Now what has good character meant? you need a responsible guy, responsible person. Mashallah, they’re responsible and they have Deen, they’re good character.
I always say you will not even know that your choice of a Spouse shapes your future until you get married. Your choice of a spouse actually determines a lot of your future. Don’t choose with your hormones.
I’ve always said the two most powerful organs the heart and the mind, don’t ever give anyone the control of those two because they will hurt you.
In fact prior to marriage, is this person fit to be the mother of my children? Is this person fit to be a father to the children I expect to have? Will they be a role model? – Mufti Menk
Close friends of Allah are very much so scattered amongst the people and you don’t know who they are. In fact, some of the Awliya Allah themselves don’t know that they’re wali of Allah. They don’t quite understand how much Allah loves them and how they could have ascended in those ranks.
Three ways that ulemas mentioned that a person attains that status of wilayah of that special friendship with Allah Subhanahu wa’ta’ala. The one that the prophet (saw) narrated and Hadith in qudsi that whoever takes wali of mine someone that is beloved to me of mine, that special friend of mine as an enemy, I will wage war on him.
Ambiya & Awliya they’re hidden. Ali (ra) said Allah has hidden two things amongst people; He’s hidden His pleasure in His Good Deed. So you don’t know which of the Good Deeds the one that unlocks His pleasure is. And Allah has hidden his Awliya; special friends amongst the people.
There are three things that allow a person to attain that state. The first one is that you do, you fulfill the obligations and you do good until you taste the sweetness of that good which is the pleasure of Allah and that becomes your unique driving force and The pleasure of Allah becomes your exclusive driving force in life.
And now you start to do the voluntary Deeds until Allah loves you. Until Allah loves you with that exclusive Special Love.
Second one, Is that the sincerity of your repentance? It’s actually a more sudden one, a person makes a sincere repentance to Allah subhanahu wa’ta’ala for Allah subhanaw Taala.
The third one is Allah tests you with a major tragedy. Allah takes away something from you and through that tragedy you do… which is to seek the reward and the reward is Allah’spleasure.
He knows that worldly status is not what conveys, confers status on a person but he had a special status with Allah subhanahu wa’ta’ala, so he said well I ask you by your love for me that you would allow rain to come upon all of us. Ibn Abbas (ra) said I was the only one close enough to that man where I could hear his Dua and as soon as he finished making that dua, started to rain upon all of us.
I looked at him and I thought who is this man? Subhanallah simple servant of Allah subhanahu wa’ta’ala, he was not a alam, wasn’t a scholar. He wasn’t giving kutbah (sermon). He wasn’t someone that was known he didn’t have any prominence, but he had a status with Allah.
If a person reaches that position, it is special and sometimes again, you don’t know.
Conformity to the way of the messenger (saw) as a rule all of the doors that lead to Paradise are shut with the exception to the door that is the door of the Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alaihiwasallam I,E his Sunnah.
What is amazing is that Conformity to the Sunnah is found is found in the institution of Islamic of Islamic marriage between a man and a woman.
The prophet Muhammed (saw) said I am the one who fears Allah Almighty the most and I have far more takwa consciousness of him than you. However, I pray and I sleep and I fast and I eat and I marry women. He said so whoever turns away from my sunnah, my way. Then he’s not from amongst us. So prophet (saw) prohibited Celibacy. It is not part of the religion.
Allah said you are a garment for them and they are a garment for you. I don’t think a human being can bring about a more beautiful comprehensive description of the nature of the relationship between man and woman in marriage.
What else does cloth do? Does it not protect us from the cold of the winter and the Heat of the summer, right? And that’s what marriage does they are protection for one another; Financial, Protection physical, protection emotional protection, moral protection, Islamic protection. La ilaha illallah,
How then can it be that a person then complains of a spouse who is offering them a Bruising fist every other day? Is this the type of clothing for each other that Allah Almighty has described marriages being for ourselves? Undoubtedly, not.
There is a love that is a miracle from Allah, the marriage between man and woman is one of the truest miracles in front of us, but it requires thought and Marriage it is one of the clearest paths for a human happiness in the life of this world.
Allah says from His many signs is that he has created from yourselves, spouses so that you may find rest in her and he has between you both love and mercy, and then the ayah concludes indeed in this there are signs for people who think.
The image of Marriage that is painted To Us by not just Society but my TV and social media is a fake one, that Bollywood or Hollywood image of him boy meeting girls and they lived happily ever after doesn’t exist in the life of this world and the same way that we don’t believe TV with respect to what they say about Islam and Quran and Jihad, we should not believe TV about what they say is the definition of an ideal marriage.
We are looking to deal with those major issues the axioms the pillars of a marriage that are crumbling down in order to ensure that there is Everlasting Love and everlasting Sakina between the couple and it is possible and we’re going Sakina between the couple and it is possible and we’re going to discover that it is not marriage that makes you happy it is you that makes your marriage happy.
It’s a choice brothers and sisters and being Muslim and married and very happy. These are not oxymoronic. These are not contradictory descriptions. It is possible to be all of them, but it is based upon a choice that needs to be made and some effort and Allah Almighty has promised to fill the hands of such a person with goodness if he or she wants to make those decisions.
In this video clip, Brother Hashim explained nicely how atheists or some philosophers or some scientists go against their Fitra (natural constitution) by asking for empirical evidence for God whereas they can’t show their own consciousness in repose to a Muslim brother’s question which are frequently asked by many Muslim as well with the following Quote of Brother Hahim at Speakers Corner in Hyde park:
Any logical person anyone who got a rational mind Yes, they will come to the conclusion that all this universe and everything didn’t just come about by chance. So asking me empirically evidence for Angels for God and for your own Consciousness is only foolishness because science is a tune which doesn’t have the scope to go beyond the physical world.
None of us are the same even in our thinking. We won’t think the same so, why did Allah make us different? Why do I think differently? You might be married to a person who doesn’t like everything you like. In fact, it will be it has to be it must be, subhanallah. Why have you thought of it?
It’s part of the plan of Allah. He wants us to master the art of living with difference of opinion with differences in our likes and dislike.
Even if you are born of one mother and one father look at the evidence from the time of Abel and Cain, from the time of Adam and Eve, may Allah bless them.
Small issues today and what do we do? It starts off in the heart, we become abusive. We start belittling. We start making people feel inferior. We say words that are hurtful. We say words that are harmful. We say abusive, vulgar words. Do you really think that you’re going to go far by saying these bad things? You have actually lost the plot even if you are making six Salah a day, you’re going nowhere.
Learn to be the best human being you can take a look at the globe, we are suffering simply because we want to impose our own thinking on the rest of the world. That’s why we are struggling. You, don’t do that.
And that does not mean you water down your own opinion. When I’m a Muslim, I will remain Muslim. I will believe what’s right and wrong based on my convictions. But how will I treat someone who disagrees with me? That is something we don’t know and we’re lacking and to me that’s one of the biggest reasons why we are at War today. Not only with the globe but even amongst ourselves.
You should be yourself unique, you don’t compromise your faith what you believe is right. You don’t compromise that. That doesn’t mean you have to belittle someone Else who has thought differently, who’s used the brain Allah gave them to arrive at a conclusion that you consider wrong.
You have to address people with respect from the very beginning. We were taught that as humankind and thereafter as the ummah of the one who was sent as a mercy to the rest, SubhanAllah, salallahu alaihe wasalam.
Do you Shout, Scream, yell, abusive, this that in your house? You don’t qualify. It’s not a house or a home. It’s just a dwelling.
When you qualify you will have a much better home. Subhanallah, you’re going to have a beautiful environment in that house. You will know how to speak, how to address people, how to tackle difference of opinion and so on.
We don’t even know how to talk to our own spouses. We have such a big disease as Muslims. I promise you, that when a divorce happens, it’s like the end of the world, go to the non-muslims and learn from them.
You have to have a big heart. You have to understand the children belong to both and fulfil their rights.
Trust me. We need to create an environment, we need to create an environment of respect of Love, of dignity.
Young man came to the prophet Peace be upon him He says o messenger give me advice the messenger peace be upon him told him don’t get angry.
We all need that advice because we get angry. When things don’t happen your way and you can calm down, you’re a true follower of that messenger Peace be upon him. You deserve his Intersession on the Day of Judgment. May Allah granted to us.
My brothers and sisters we get angry very fast when something in the home doesn’t happen, whether it’s the child or a spouse or a parent or a sibling, we could so upset us… and how we start venting bad words. And the Hadith is a True Believernever uses an abusive word.
You want Jannah, subhanallah tolerate the heat of the Dunya heat of the fire of jahannam. That to be considered the correct Muslim you must be disciplined, you have to be disciplined. If you’re not disciplined you’re going nowhere.
We belong to different sects as Muslims. How do we treat each other? simple your ego. Throw it out. Come out and say I’m sorry because the day will come when the almighty may not forgive you, subhanallah. – Mufti Menk
When we were much younger, we had something known as corporal punishment. And you know what? They did it when they taught us the most sacred book in existence. What is that? What’s that book?
The Quran and then they say it’s the Sunnah of the prophet and I remember them lying to us telling us, the punishment of Jahannam will never touch the place of your body that the scholars whip has lashed on have you heard that one?
It’s a tale, ..Man.
The prophet Muhammad who was sent as a Mercy to Mankind salallahu alaihe wasalam, sent as a mercy to entire humanity and more and Beyond as a mercy how many have graduated in Quran and in hifz and in Knowledge from his hands and how many did he beat up? You follow? Not even one, subhanallah.
Because we are weak and we lack methodology of teaching. We take it out on the ones whom we are teaching and we turn them away from religion completely. – Mufti Menk
The word the Dajjal in Arabic means the deceiver and there is a difference between saying something is deceptive and something is a lie. a lie can get caught out pretty easily or in a little while you can defragment, you can find that person is a liar, but when you say that something is deceptive then deceptive means that it’s mixed with the truth. You got truth and false and you start mixing it, you start manipulating people to make them think that something is real, but it’s not, it’s really a fake thing.
And then you say to yourself; well, if they were if this is true, then this must be true and it takes much longer to find out the LIE when somebody is a deceiver.
For the Dajjal who is called the Antichrist, this guy who’s going to come out into this world according to what our Prophet peace be upon him told us about, he said that this guy that the Dajjal is going to come out and he is going to deceive, people is going to be a deceiver, ad-Dajjal.
Before the Dajjal can come out, There has to be a preparation and introduction, the stage has to be set for him, a world full of fakeness, a world full of deception, a world full of if you like FRGs, fake religious guys and girls a world full of fake media, fake social media, Things appear different to what they really are in reality. People think in a fantasy world and make things that are Fantasia world look as if they are real. Liars look; like they’re telling the truth and truthful people look like they are they’re actually lying. That’s what they think. what’s been shown to us a long time ago used to be bad or abnormal or wrong now it’s become normal, right? And anybody who opposes it, They’re the ones that look crazy.
You know a little while ago, for example, I want the young people to listen. Things that in my days they used to be outrageous. Today they’re very normal. One thing for example students ask me a question; Can I have a girlfriend? Can I have a boyfriend? Is this Islam allowing it? And I’m thinking to myself, isn’t it’s meant to be so obvious that you can’t really.. you know is no such thing as …. boyfriend and girlfriend outside of marriage, but they ask about it sincerely really thinking, there’s nothing wrong with it.
What used to be wrong and I’m even talking about the non-Muslims in the 1950s. It was very normal to say that I won’t, you know be with a guy or a girl until we’re actually married, non-Muslims used to say that and then slowly as time went on, it became normal.
But this is the truth the fake world I get my students and they say to me on social media, there was you know, this guy he likes me. He likes me. They think it’s all cute and I say to them he doesn’t like he doesn’t like you what he likes about you is that it’s easy for him to see what he wants to see of you. She said, yeah, it’s true. He wants me to take off my hijab and I did. He gives me attention, you know, and I know and he loves me, wants to marry me……15 years old, man. What’s he going to marry?
That’s the what the world is made you think? The internet stuff, There were abnormal now this so normal. You’re crazy If you say that you want to get married. That’s what the world we live in now but girlfriend boyfriend that is fine. It’s become so normalized, brothers and sisters.
I fear for this new generation if they are not aware of what actually what brainwashing is happening to their brains, …. we call it classical conditioning. But you know what? Social media only tells you about 20% about your life is what experts say shows their highlights on social media and everybody thinks that everybody is living the life except me. I’m missing out and that’s why we have so much depression anxiety, you know post-traumatic stress disorders and all that because our Expectations are right up here, but it doesn’t even exist.
So when people for example get married they have these high expectations from what they’ve seen on social media over and over and over again, and then they feel that they’ve been betrayed. so they end up in divorce .
We need to be aware of these things that we are living in a world of fakeness and that’s why we can’t find happiness.
The coming of the Dajjal, the deceiver. There has to be a preparation of fakeness where people start to believe the unbelievable. I’m saying this to the young people so they got they do not fall Prey to this thing.
Social media now has been made in such a way that it’s meant to program you so that you can come back again and again and again and again and again and again until you get this mental disorder.
The era of the Dajjal means that where religion itself looks like it’s backwards where we cannot make a .., you know a connection between the real world and our religion. Religion is so real subhanAllah. The world is going ahead and brainwashing left Right and Centre. We live in the world of sex drugs and rock and roll. That’s what we live in right now and the Dajjal loves that when he comes out to be so easy for people to believe in him.
kafir means to cover up the truth to cover up the truth. Cover up reality; cover up what I really am. Cover up what the truth really is and believe something doesn’t even exist.
The Muslims will be able to recognize this. We don’t get stooge that easy. My advice to young people, your deen and your Islam is there to protect you. don’t let this new age idea of making you think it’s backwards or that you are missing out by practicing your religion, at the same time practicing people, please Understand what you’re practicing. We are not for show.
The prophet Muhammed (ﷺ) said “Do you know what a Muslim is? The Muslim is the one from whose tongue and hand the people are safe, and the believer/ Mumin is the one who is trusted with the lives /dignity and wealth of the people. A Mujahid is somebody who can strive against his or her own desires and egos to continue to worship Allah to the best of their ability. A Muhajir/Migrant is somebody who is able to desert their past sins and work towards better.- Shaykh Belal Assad
The All-Loving 