People saying that in their marriages because their in-laws were not happy about their spouses marrying who they ended up marrying………………………………….
Your children choose their spouses and sometimes it will not be according to your taste because you married already. They have a different taste. So your choice of a wife may not be the same as your child’s choice of a wife or husband. So you need to make sure that you leave them with that and you are happy for them, being happy for your children make it easy for them, make dua for them.
You need to let it happen knowing that this is the blessing that’s coming into our home. If you don’t want to interact much with the person you don’t have to interact so much but please make sure that you make life easy for them, Allah will make life easy for you.
Remember when people go into a home, there’s a stigma on both sides. Some people think badly about a mother-in-law even before giving her a chance. Any small thing they think negative of that mother-in-law and sometimes the mother-in-law thinks on similar lines regarding the daughter-in-law, they don’t give them a chance, they believe that whatever they do was not with a good intention. They stick to their child such that anything the wife says to the son, they feel that perhaps the wife is trying to separate them from their own son which is not true.
When the child was born you decided everything for the child. As the child grew up Allah took away your decision-making little by little. The child becomes a parent or a husband or a wife in his or her own right .you cannot then decide to have that control and be upset with who they married. Give them a chance; if the two of them are happy what makes you unhappy? Why are you unhappy to see the happiness of your child that is a disease? It’s a disease that is shows a weakness in faith as even happier. If they’re happy something makes them happy so what? Alhumdillah be happy for them- Mufti Menk
Whenever we listen to something futile, there is a waste of time. We should actually turn away from it. If we don’t there will be a seed sown within our system that will germinate into a tree of sadness, a tree of something that is not beneficial.
And when they hear ill speech, they turn away from it and say, “For us are our deeds, and for you are your deeds. Peace will be upon you; we seek not the ignorant.” (28:55)
So Allah is telling you if you want contentment protect yourself from toxic people. There is a fine line between those who are toxic and those who need help and are willing to actually receive the help. You can help people who are open to you, helping them or you can try to help if you’re a professional or you think you can help but the moment you believe that this is going to affect me walk away because not everyone is so strong.
Allah is telling us the difference between those who have conviction, those who are convinced about what they have been promised by Allah.
Then is he whom We have promised a good promise which he will obtain like he for whom We provided enjoyment of worldly life [but] then he is, on the Day of Resurrection, among those presented [for punishment in Hell]? (28:61)
I might not have things in this world but I know I’m going to have in the Hereafter and I know that the promise of Allah will come to pass and I am definitely going to get it and that when I get it, it will be everlasting, with conviction you attain contentment remember that
But seek, through that which Allah has given you, the home of the Hereafter; and [yet], do not forget your share of the world. And do good as Allah has done good to you. And desire not corruption in the land. Indeed, Allah does not like corrupters.” (28:77)
It’s not wrong to aim for a reasonably comfortable life or a little bit of comfort. It’s not wrong to achieve things within the means that Allah has provided you but don’t forget Allah- Mufti Menk
The prophet peace be upon him says, “A person is known by the friends he or she keeps”. The circle that he rotates with, so be careful whom you befriend, the prophet (saw) said this.
Sometimes we have friends we need to change those friends. If your friends do not teach you how to prioritize then they are not true friends.
Why did you get married? What contentment would you like? You have a wife or a spouse waiting for you. You have children who are desperate for your time. If you don’t spend time with your family, with your wife, with your children after you are married and you spend it with your friends instead all the time, you will lose your contentment.
The company of the truthful they will in fact remind you to go home, they will all disperse early because the night belongs to your spouse, to the almighty obviously but in terms of companionship go back to your family.
Your friends should be better than you in character and conduct. Your friends should be better than you in the dedication that they have towards achieving goodness. – Mufti Menk
What is very important for us to know is when we develop a relationship with Allah, when we are conscious of Allah subhanahu wata’ala allah will grant us the ability to distinguish between right and wrong through that ability we will achieve contentment.
O you who have believed, if you fear Allah, He will grant you a criterion and will remove from you your misdeeds and forgive you. And Allah is the possessor of great bounty. (8:29)
In a month of fasting, the month of Ramadan, we are asked by Allah Subhanahu WA Ta’ala to fast in order to develop that relationship with Allah. Fasting brings about compassion, brings about a closeness to Allah, a softness; it disciplines us, strive to develop your relationship with Allah, strive when it comes to your prayer, when it comes to your charity the giving, when it comes to your character and conduct and Allah subhanahu wata’ala will definitely open your doors.
The importance of seeking forgiveness of Allah is such that even if the punishment were to be coming in your direction it will be diverted because of you seeking the forgiveness of Allah. This is why it’s very important to keep seeking the forgiveness of Allah on a daily basis. People wonder I’m going through problems, is it a punishment or is it actually a test from Allah?
Well if you are seeking the forgiveness of Allah at all times every day it can never be the punishment of Allah, do you know why? Because Allah says
But Allah would not punish them while you, [O Muhammad], are among them, and Allah would not punish them while they seek forgiveness. (8:33)
While seeking forgiveness, it’s impossible that what’s coming to you in terms of negativity is a punishment from Allah. It is only a test, you must relax, and you must be satisfied and content. Keep on building your relationship with Allah and understand whatever you’re going through is in order to elevate your status.
In Surat Anfal Allah Subhanahu WA Ta’ala also makes mention of the gifts that he bestows upon man and the fact that He doesn’t take them away until man deserves that they be taken away.
If you haven’t been become a bad person and still you lose something good you might have had that would not be a punishment of Allah, that would actually be a bigger gift in the long term from Allah Subhanahu WA Ta’ala.
That is because Allah would not change a favor which He had bestowed upon a people until they change what is within themselves. And indeed, Allah is Hearing and Knowing. (8:53)
Get acquainted with Allah during your days of ease and Allah will get acquainted with you during your days of hardship.
Allah speaks in surah al-anfal also about a situation where there are two parties that are fighting each other perhaps a war on a larger scale or an argument on a smaller scale Allah Subhanahu WA Ta’ala says
And if they incline to peace, then incline to it [also] and rely upon Allah . Indeed, it is He who is the Hearing, the Knowing. (8:61)
Two warring factions, one of them desperately wants peace with you, you doubt their intentions. There is nothing glaring to prove that they are being insincere. If there was something glaring to prove that they were insincere you would be foolish to make peace with them in a way that you were bitten again from the same direction. But if there is nothing to say that they were being insincere. Allah says inclined towards it. If they stretch their arm, seeking peace you should do the same.
Allah says lay your trust on Allah because you may not know exactly they may want to cheat you and that’s why in the very next verse when Allah says at the end of this verse that He is all-powerful and He is all-knowing, He’s all wise
But if they intend to deceive you – then sufficient for you is Allah. It is He who supported you with His help and with the believers. (8:62)
Very importantly learn to please Allah in all that you do and learn to follow Allah in all that you would like to do and Allah will grant you that success in the dunya and akhira filled with the greatest contentment – Mufti Menk
The children belong to Allah. Allah gave them to you temporarily and He’s going to take them away. He may take you away before them or He will take them away before you. It is totally up to Him. you have to be happy with the decree of Allah.
We get so attached to our children that we don’t even want them to get married. Allah gave you the children in order to test you. Are you going to do what we want you to do or are you going to do what you want to do against what we want to do? For example your child wants to marry ask yourself a question; the parents need to ask themselves obviously if both the boy and the girl would like it to happen. Does Allah allow it? If the answer is yes tell yourself who am I to disallow, what Allah has allowed?
The brother is too black you know, I promise you I’ve heard that. Black! Bilal ibn Rabah (ra) was from jannah (paradise). He was the darkest of the lot and the prophet (saw) came back and said oh Bilal I went up to Maharaj and guess what? I heard your footsteps there. He didn’t look at the fairest of the lot and say hang on, who’s more…, who is fair in complexion, yeah yours, your footsteps in jannah, no way. ––
It had nothing to do with color. You slice here, you slice there, you slice anywhere, and the blood is red. My brothers and sisters, racism has no space in Islam, not at all. If you do not respect a person simply because their complexion is less than yours, I promise you you’re doomed.
My brothers and sisters you want paradise, understand ‘people are equal’ that’s what Allah says. The day you get to Allah and he gives you your book of records in your right hand. You can then say I did well. I travel through Africa and I witness some of the best Muslims I’ve seen in my life happen to be in the darkest corners of Africa.
Every time you make halal easy, you’ve protected people from harm and every time you’ve made halal difficult, you’ve encouraged people to engage in haram and facilitate it for them. – Mufti Menk
🛑The difficulties can be divided into many different categories but two main categories those in this world and those of the hereafter; I promise you the difficulties of this world if you manage them correctly as a believer you will never have difficulties in the hereafter. Some people who don’t manage their difficulties and hardships in this world properly, Allah speaks about them by saying they have lost this world and they have also lost the afterlife.
📌As much as we would like to have hope in the mercy of Allah through our difficulties in this dunya, we need to make sure we are not the point of suffering of someone else, remember that.
✅Prophet Muhammad (saw) speaks about a true Muslim is he who doesn’t use his tongue or his hands to harm anyone; in another narration a Muslim is the one whom the other people are saved from the evil of his tongue or his hand which means no verbal abuse and no physical abuse. One narration speaks of the Muslims protecting the Muslimeen in that way making sure you don’t harm and the other one speaks about mankind at large.
✔️Allah does not have mercy on the one who doesn’t have mercy on the rest of the people, are you a merciful servant of Allah? Are you really a merciful servant of Allah? Do you have mercy in your home with your children, with your spouses, with your daughters, with your brothers and sisters? If you would like the mercy of Allah, you need to show the quality of mercy at least to others- Mufti Menk
🛑Don’t create a disaster for your future generation ‼️
=================================== ⚡️Ask yourself a question in the same way that I don’t like people to do wrong to me. Do I do wrong to others that are a very powerful question? Because many people want to be protected from harm but they don’t protect others from their own harm.
✅Let the children communicate with you. If what they want is not Haram, facilitate it for them. If Allah allowed it who are you to disallow it? The children belong to Allah. Allah gave them to you temporarily just to see what you would do, are you going to do what we asked you to do or you’re going to do what your whims and fancies want…………..
