Hadith says strive to seek that which will benefit and do not feel helpless. Then the prophet (saw) said and then if something overwhelms you then say it is the decree of Allah and He does what He Wills.
So, basically this is Once you have put forth your best and things don’t turn out the way that you want to turn out then say I did my part; Allah subhanahu wa’ta’ala has decreed and I’m pleased with what He has decreed.
We never become dependent on our best efforts, we instead put forth our best efforts, but we always recognize the limitations of our efforts and recognizing the limitations of our efforts does not diminish them…. balance between our role versus the decree of Allah subhanahu wa’ta’ala.
Patience in the midst of all of that Devastation:
Don’t beat yourself up so much over The outcome, seed the positive see what comes out of this for you in regards to the outcomes and don’t go back and say if I would have done this differently, if I would have done that differently…..
Allah subhanahu wa’ta’ala had a plan for you and the end of that plan is good for you.
Every marriage goes through a little bit of turbulence. If you’ve had a disagreement or a little argument which we should be avoiding but human nature that does happen. It doesn’t mean it’s the end of the marriage. people for every small thing, They say we want divorce or we want out of this marriage that is not the prophetic teaching.
So Allah wants us to try, He wants us to sacrifice whenever we’ve had an issue. We should try our best to make things work. A good communication is essential for a happy marriage.
Some people are divorced when they don’t want to be divorced. They feel that they could have made it work and it is quite depressing sometimes and a lot of anxiety comes into play.
You need to know something Allah says in the Quran giving you a lot of comfort.
The verse number 130 of surah an-nisa if the two separate in divorce, the two have divorced, Allah will bless both of them with His virtue, because He definitely is the owner of great virtue and He is very wise. Allah has broad virtue subhanallah.
So remember divorce is not the end of your life. It could be the beginning of a much happier life. So Allah says when you separate be respectful, you don’t need to engage in mudslinging, speaking bad about the other. You need to worry about yourself to the degree that you ask Allah for Goodness, not just for you but even for your ex-spouse.
Let’s learn to try our best and ultimately if it does end in divorce, it’s not the end of the world.
When you complain to Allah Almighty Remember, He hears you, He will definitely come to your help. But when you have been wronged there is no harm in warning others or even informing them.
In surah An-Nisa Allah says how He will grant them the acceptance to solve the #problem who fear that there may be a #split in the relationship of #marriage….
Allah subhanahu wa’ta’ala speaks of difficulty in marriage and he spoken about this in many places in the Quran. A reminder always helps those who believe.
So, Allah subhanahu wa’ta’ala tells us if you are fearing that there may be a split in the relationship of marriage, then if both of you really want to solve the problem. It is Resolvable. It can be solved.
The condition is both of the parties need to want to solve the problem.
The intention should not be to pick on someone, the intention should not be to battle who was right and who was wrong, but the intention Allah says should be we want to go forward. This intention is so Noble if both parties are sincere in it. They will be able to resolve the matter.
During your tough days, Allah subhanahu wa’ta’ala says We will never test a soul with more than it can shoulder. Don’t give up, don’t ever give up. Keep going.
well if I’m in an abusive marriage, I need to keep going even though I’m beaten up and even though I’m…. no, no, no; remember, if you’re in an abusive marriage, you need to ask yourself. How bad is it? If it is really bad, do something about it.
If someone is beating you up you have to do something about it. You can end that marriage, you may. It’s not a sign of patience to allow your body to be harmed, your mind to be harmed, your sanity and your mental health to be harmed and everything Else to be harmed. It’s not a sign of patience that is actually being foolish.
Don’t give up on life, don’t kill yourself and don’t ever contemplate suicide because that’s the worst thing you could ever think of. Allah is merciful. Don’t ever allow yourself To think about ending your life. It’s never as bad as that.
The prophet salallahu alaihe wasalam reminds us who the best from amongst us is- he (saw) Said the best from amongst you is the one who is best to his wife, primarily That’s the meaning but by extension, it includes your spouse which means either way it also includes the broader families,
Why is so much importance given to the #wife? You bring in someone’s daughter, an innocent person, someone who’s come into the house. She is the daughter of a family who loves her.
Now, you’ve brought her with the name of Allah into your care, the best from amongst you are those who can appreciate her for who she is and when you have to correct her or when you have to say something you say it in the Most loving and kind way.
You must stand up for your spouse, never use religious blackmail to oppress your own wife and to let her know or to tell her, you know heaven lies at the feet of my mother. That is statement is used as religious blackmail.
Build your relationship, be kind be good in the way you speak to each other. Don’t be very demanding.
They may like or dislike slightly differently from you. But that doesn’t mean you have the license to disrespect them and disregard who they are, honor them and Allah will give you honor.
What’s the point of having such a good-looking Outward appearance but the way you speak is so bad. Your heart is dirty, filled with disease filled with hatred jealousy deception and so on if we cleanse ourselves, we will definitely be able to achieve the Comfort?
If you were to seek forgiveness from the almighty, then you would automatically have to clean your heart because the two go together hand in hand, you clean your heart, and you seek the Forgiveness of the almighty. He forgives you and you have a big heart to forgive others as well.
Remember marriage is a very big sacrifice. If you are going to sacrifice, you will be happy. If not, it will become a crisis. If you want to protect yourself from the crisis within marriage learn to trust one another and don’t give reason for your spouse not to trust you.
Divorce in Islam is not prohibited, but it’s not a joke either. It’s a last resort when someone really cannot make the marriage work anymore and it’s causing problem hardship, difficulty. It’s becoming a strain on the brain in that particular case, you may want to consider separating.
When you make someone else’s life difficult Allah makes your life difficult, remember it,
my beloved parents when your daughters or your sons would like to marry someone, don’t say no without a valid valid reason, if you don’t have a valid reason and racism is not a valid reason, tribalism is not a valid reason. The fact that this person is darker in complexion is never a valid Reason. So remember allow the marriages and Allah will allow for you to enter Paradise.
You were put there for a reason. That is an opportunity for me to benefit from and I could have easily overlooked you, the same way that that woman could have easily overlooked that dog.
Often you cannot understand someone Else’s vulnerability unless you’ve been vulnerable in the same way; Even if it’s to a lesser extent.
The woman that was thirsty saw that that dog was thirsty for the same water; imam Malik Deenar (rah) saw that that young man was thirsty for the water of guidance. The way that he wants was thirsty for the water of guidance.
Whether Allah puts a bad neighbor in your life or Allah (swt) puts, you know an animal in your life that surrounds you or a Coke can and Street anything right? What are these opportunities of repentance? That Allah subhanahu wa’ta’ala keeps on putting in your way, Right?
If you don’t have a daily relationship with the Quran, then you are fooling yourself into thinking that you are doing good.
These are the Gatherings that will bring sakina upon a house that is fractured, that will erase the sins of a sinner that will illuminate the grave of a Muslim and we’ll take him or her by their hand and guide them to the highest grades in jannah.
Don’t use your tongue and your verbal expression to harm your spouse And remember the mawadda and the rahmah Allah jalla jalaluhu has placed between you something You dislike, don’t insult and don’t Mock and this could leave a lifelong scar that you will struggle later on to amend. – Shaykh Ali Hammuda
By Allah, if these pillars of a marriage are there mentioned in the Ayah (Surah Ar-Rum [30:21]) that you just heard which is Sakina (Tranquility) mawadda (affection) Rahmah (Mercy), then this is a household that can deal with all of the obstacles and the challenges of life outside. And perhaps an undoubtedly rather I should say. This is one of the secrets behind the strength of our messenger Muhammad Sallallahu alayhi wasallam, because Allah jalla jalaluhu gave him a righteous wife called khadija ibn khuwaylid (Rah) who was the means of the Sakina the tranquility and the mawadda the affection and the rahmah therefore regardless of what he experienced outside from enmity from The jinns, from the ins, mankind or jinn kind.
He came home to a caring woman who was patting him on the back. I’m saying to him I believe in you. I accept your message. I will pray behind you, removing the intestines of animals that were placed on his back using her Blessed Hands and removing the dust from his beard and from his hair using her blessed hands, and he was able to continue that is why the day when she left it was a year of sorrow in the life of the messenger (saw). mawadda & rahmah was in this family and the gratitude that we need to have for our mother khadijah (ra) is beyond my ability to express it to tell you the truth, brothers and sisters for creating a home where by the messenger of Allah was able to propagate his mission till it came to our masjid in Cardiff mawadda and Rahmah was in that family.
Therefore not only does it help you as an individual find your feet in life and be happy as a married man or a woman it helps you find your akhirah, helps you convey the message of Allah when the home has within it, tranquility and affection and mercy and the opposite is just as true. Therefore, He sallallahu alehiwassallaam never forgot the virtue that she has over him in this department, even when she died because she was 15 years his senior. She had the whole world and the her hands and beneath her feet. She handed it over to her messenger and to her husband so that he could convey the word of God Almighty subhanahu wa’ta’ala. So when she passed away, he never forgot her and her mother Aisha radiallahu anna she would say even after she died.
She said in my life, I never felt more jealous towards any one of the wives of the Prophet salallahu alayhi wasalam, then the jealousy I felt towards khadijah (Ra), and I never met her. I never even met her. I think what I would say to him, she was an old woman jealousy sometimes causes a person to see irrational things. They are excused. That was just an old woman. Why are you so obsessed with her? He would say to happens Allah Almighty blessed me with her love. What can I do about it? Allah put her love in my heart. subhanallah al-azim, mawadda & Rahmah ayesh (ra) said that even after she died messenger (saw) sometimes slaughter a goat and he will say distribute the meat of the goat between the friends of Khadija. He never forgot her and one day when he heard a knock at the door and who was knocking at the door of the messenger (saw) So I sent him it was Halah bint Khuwailid, the sister of Khadija (ra) He heard her voice and he said is oh Allah it is halah because Her voice reminded him of the voice of Khadija (ra) his wife before she had passed away. subhanAllah, he was walking in the street in a group of old women came to him and he took off his shawl and he put it on the floor and he said sit down, how are you doing? And he he spoke with them and how is life after us? What happened? What did you do?
Aysha (ra) said messenger of Allah (saw) who are these old women you were speaking to? he said these used to be women who used to visit us during the days of Khadija. Look at those words. Like those amazing days of khadijah you read between the lines. Amazing Subhan Allah because she provided a home that was of Sakina and mawadda She can really set the mood of the house and she can do the opposite and and this will be an empowering part of the discussion. Abu al-As ibn al-Rabi, who was the husband of Zainab, who is Zainab? The daughter of the prophet Mohammed (saw) from Khadijah (ra) So this is their daughter of Zainab They married her to a man called al-As ibn al-Rabi who was a Muslim, but they were stuck in Mecca. They couldn’t emigrate, the pagans had left them there. They prevented them from coming to Medina. And so when the Battle of Badr took place what happened? What happened? What happened? Was that al-As was forced by the pagans to go and to fight with them against the Muslims. It was out of his will and so he was caught by the Muslims and taken to Medina. So he was now separated between him and his wife Zainab.
She still in Mecca. And so the pagans they began to send messages to Medina saying we need you to free our men and so the deal was that Every man who was able to teach the Muslims how to read and write we will let him free, the importance of Education teach how to read and write and that will be your Ransom. If you can’t teach us how to read and write then you will need to pay a ransom. So the meccans they began to pay ransoms sending it to Medina. What is Zainab going to provide? What is Zainab going to provide, what type of Ransom because the meccan are not going to help her because they know that her husband is an ally of the prophet (saw) So she had nothing to give but a bracelet. Which her mother had given to her on her wedding night, khadijah (ra) So she sent it to the Prophet Muhammad (saw) And when he came imagine, he receives his bag. He puts his hand inside and he hears that this is the ransom for the husband of your daughter. And he takes out to see what is she going to Ransom him win? Like how did we get into this scenario to begin with and he finds the bracelet that his Khadijah had given to her when she was still alive to marry her off to al-As to beautify herself for him and the necessary jewelry that a woman requires. The narration says the prophet (saw) became so emotional when he saw this and he cried so much turning it and tossing in his hand remembering the days of Khadija. Then he said to his companions if it is okay with you would it be all right for us to give them back this Ransom and to free him free of charge on the condition that he sends Zainab to Medina and they said of course. Look at how he never forgot her, dear brothers and sisters. One of the key reasons without a doubt is because of the Sakina, the mawadda, the affection, the rahmah, that she played a chief role in facilitating in his house. That enabled him to do what he needed to do as a prophet from Allah subhanahu wa’ta’ala.
