Category: Marriage

Fix The Ex Of Mine! Divorce Is Not The End Of The World: Just Move On | Mufti Menk

People going through divorce; divorce is becoming like a trend, like a trend: you married! You got to ask the guy, are you still married after two years?

It’s not bad to actually be divorced for the right reasons or to divorce for the right reasons, but when it becomes trend it is scary.

We are not prepared to sacrifice for one another anymore. We’re not prepared to forgive one another anymore.

We want to perfect human being who’s spotless without any weaknesses. That’s we’re looking for. Well, that you will only find in Paradise, if you ever get there.

When divorce happens, it’s not the end of the world. Perhaps, it is the door for you to then get to someone else. Had you not been through your first relationship, you would never have gotten to this much much better person that you subsequently got married to.

The moral is never give up, we go through challenges, and we go through hardship. Let’s look forward, let’s progress.

People sit and say, I’m going to fix the Ex of mine. Do you know what? Just move on. By making someone else’s life difficult, it’s not going to make your life easy. You want ease? Close a chapter, open a new one. Let’s move forward, Thank Allah, beautiful relationship, and that’s more.

Marriage Is A Big Sacrifice | Powerful Reminders | Mufti Menk

We Need To Strike A Balance. A Balance Between What’s Happening On The Ground, Understanding It, Doing Something About It, Living Your Life, Fulfilling Your Responsibilities To Allah And To Your Family And At The Same Time Trying To Make Sure That When You Die You Go To A Good Place And Those Whom You Leave Behind Will Be Left Behind In A Good Place As Well. What A Big Challenge!

A Big Challenge! Subhanallah, May Allah Make It Easy For Us.

Choosing Spouse In The Light Of Islam | Mufti Menk

Do you know that when we have to choose a spouse;

Who have not yet chosen the spouse and even if you have try and go back and see the qualities that you have looked at and develop on them, develop them…

 

When you choose a spouse, the Hadith says: there are several things that people look at; some people look at wealth, some people look at Beauty, some people look at the status of the person and some people look at the lineage of the person and some people look at the deen and the religion of the person.

The Hadith says become successful by selecting the the one with religion, with character and conduct, coupled with Deen / religion.

From the hadith, when a proposal comes from someone; whom you are satisfied with their level of character and conduct or in fact starting with the level of Deen and character then allow them to get married, allow them to marry.

Two things:  character and deen

If someone comes and they good-looking okay, they have a better deen in them. It is better for you to compromise the looks to a certain extent And make sure that the religion is intact then to go only for looks because the plan of Allah is there will come a stage when that blemish less face will develop wrinkles; If you have loved the outward face, you will not be able to get along with that woman.

Because if you have loved the interior, it only blossoms as time passes. with the wrinkles of the face the wrinkles of the heart disappear.

Have you ever thought of that with the wrinkles of the face, the wrinkles of the heart disappear?

The beauty of Islam is such that from the beginning whether it is the upbringing of the child or how to select a spouse, Allah subhanahu wa’ta’ala has laws in place that will help you from the family fragmenting, breaking up.

So, if we follow the rules from the very beginning then we will find that the family unit will not break.

Release With Goodness And The Reality Of Triple Talaq For A Divorce | Mufti Menk

When we get married, we don’t come together in order to have a fight. But naturally, sometimes we would have problems and this is why we are rewarded to try and solve the problems.

 

In some instances, We’re unable to solve these problems not because any one of the two is bad, but we were different people perhaps our upbringing was so different we did not realise that prior to the marriage and so if we have so much of difficulty that it starts affecting our minds and we just cannot cope. It is permissible to separate by way of divorce.

You’re not the first person who is going through a divorce and you will not be the last one, subhanallah.

Remember the divorce is an opportunity given by Allah Almighty for you to Rise and Shine, for you to earn reward, for you to be able to earn the pleasure of Allah and ultimate Paradise.

Who are respectful upon the divorce and after the divorce they are the ones who will actually get Paradise as a result of the divorce perhaps because they engaged in something that was tough for them, but they did it correctly.

Did you know that it is very sinful to issue a divorce by Talaq  Thrice?

Beware Of The Word If When Things Didn’t Turn Out The Way That You Wanted | Shaykh Omar Suleiman And Mufti Menk

Hadith says strive to seek that which will benefit and do not feel helpless. Then the prophet (saw) said and then if something overwhelms you then say it is the decree of Allah and He does what He Wills.

So, basically this is Once you have put forth your best and things don’t turn out the way that you want to turn out then say I did my part; Allah subhanahu wa’ta’ala has decreed and I’m pleased with what He has decreed.

We never become dependent on our best efforts, we instead put forth our best efforts, but we always recognize the limitations of our efforts and recognizing the limitations of our efforts does not diminish them…. balance between our role versus the decree of Allah subhanahu wa’ta’ala.

Patience in the midst of all of that Devastation:

Don’t beat yourself up so much over The outcome, seed the positive see what comes out of this for you in regards to the outcomes and don’t go back and say if I would have done this differently, if I would have done that differently…..

Allah subhanahu wa’ta’ala had a plan for you and the end of that plan is good for you.

The Prophetic Teaching In Resolving Marriage Problems: Divorce ⚠️Backbiting | Mufti Menk

Every marriage goes through a little bit of turbulence. If you’ve had a disagreement or a little argument which we should be avoiding but human nature that does happen. It doesn’t mean it’s the end of the marriage. people for every small thing, They say we want divorce or we want out of this marriage that is not the prophetic teaching.

So Allah wants us to try, He wants us to sacrifice whenever we’ve had an issue. We should try our best to make things work. A good communication is essential for a happy marriage.

Some people are divorced when they don’t want to be divorced. They feel that they could have made it work and it is quite depressing sometimes and a lot of anxiety comes into play.

You need to know something Allah says in the Quran giving you a lot of comfort.

The verse number 130 of surah an-nisa if the two separate in divorce, the two have divorced, Allah will bless both of them with His virtue, because He definitely is the owner of great virtue and He is very wise. Allah has broad virtue subhanallah.

So remember divorce is not the end of your life. It could be the beginning of a much happier life. So Allah says when you separate be respectful, you don’t need to engage in mudslinging, speaking bad about the other. You need to worry about yourself to the degree that you ask Allah for Goodness, not just for you but even for your ex-spouse.

Let’s learn to try our best and ultimately if it does end in divorce, it’s not the end of the world.

When you complain to Allah Almighty Remember, He hears you, He will definitely come to your help. But when you have been wronged there is no harm in warning others or even informing them.

Condition For Resolving Marital Disputes By Allah (SWT) | Mufti Menk

In surah An-Nisa Allah says how He will grant them the acceptance to solve the #problem who fear that there may be a #split in the relationship of #marriage….

Allah subhanahu wa’ta’ala speaks of difficulty in marriage and he spoken about this in many places in the Quran. A reminder always helps those who believe.

So, Allah subhanahu wa’ta’ala tells us if you are fearing that there may be a split in the relationship of marriage, then if both of you really want to solve the problem. It is Resolvable. It can be solved.

The condition is both of the parties need to want to solve the problem.

The intention should not be to pick on someone, the intention should not be to battle who was right and who was wrong, but the intention Allah says should be we want to go forward. This intention is so Noble if both parties are sincere in it. They will be able to resolve the matter.

Need To Keep Going In An Abusive Marriage | Mufti Menk

During your tough days, Allah subhanahu wa’ta’ala says We will never test a soul with more than it can shoulder. Don’t give up, don’t ever give up. Keep going.

well if I’m in an abusive marriage, I need to keep going even though I’m beaten up and even though I’m…. no, no, no; remember, if you’re in an abusive marriage, you need to ask yourself. How bad is it? If it is really bad, do something about it.

 

If someone is beating you up you have to do something about it. You can end that marriage, you may. It’s not a sign of patience to allow your body to be harmed, your mind to be harmed, your sanity and your mental health to be harmed and everything Else to be harmed. It’s not a sign of patience that is actually being foolish.

Don’t give up on life, don’t kill yourself and don’t ever contemplate suicide because that’s the worst thing you could ever think of. Allah is merciful. Don’t ever allow yourself To think about ending your life. It’s never as bad as that.

Correct Her In The Most Loving Way 🚫No License to Disrespect Someone’s Daughter | Mufti Menk

The prophet salallahu alaihe wasalam reminds us who the best from amongst us is- he (saw) Said the best from amongst you is the one who is best to his wife, primarily That’s the meaning but by extension, it includes your spouse which means either way it also includes the broader families,

Why is so much importance given to the #wife? You bring in someone’s daughter, an innocent person, someone who’s come into the house. She is the daughter of a family who loves her.

Now, you’ve brought her with the name of Allah into your care, the best from amongst you are those who can appreciate her for who she is and when you have to correct her or when you have to say something you say it in the Most loving and kind way.

You must stand up for your spouse, never use religious blackmail to oppress your own wife and to let her know or to tell her, you know heaven lies at the feet of my mother. That is statement is used as religious blackmail.

Build your relationship, be kind be good in the way you speak to each other. Don’t be very demanding.

They may like or dislike slightly differently from you. But that doesn’t mean you have the license to disrespect them and disregard who they are, honor them and Allah will give you honor.

Considering Divorce No Option But To Cooperate, Allah Is Watching | CITOCS- Ep8 | Mufti Menk

What’s the point of having such a good-looking Outward appearance but the way you speak is so bad. Your heart is dirty, filled with disease filled with hatred jealousy deception and so on if we cleanse ourselves, we will definitely be able to achieve the Comfort?

If you were to seek forgiveness from the almighty, then you would automatically have to clean your heart because the two go together hand in hand, you clean your heart, and you seek the Forgiveness of the almighty. He forgives you and you have a big heart to forgive others as well.

Remember marriage is a very big sacrifice. If you are going to sacrifice, you will be happy. If not, it will become a crisis. If you want to protect yourself from the crisis within marriage learn to trust one another and don’t give reason for your spouse not to trust you.

Divorce in Islam is not prohibited, but it’s not a joke either. It’s a last resort when someone really cannot make the marriage work anymore and it’s causing problem hardship, difficulty. It’s becoming a strain on the brain in that particular case, you may want to consider separating.

When you make someone else’s life difficult Allah makes your life difficult, remember it,

 

my beloved parents when your daughters or your sons would like to marry someone, don’t say no without a valid valid reason, if you don’t have a valid reason and racism is not a valid reason, tribalism is not a valid reason. The fact that this person is darker in complexion is never a valid Reason. So remember allow the marriages and Allah will allow for you to enter Paradise.