When we get married, we don’t come together in order to have a fight. But naturally, sometimes we would have problems and this is why we are rewarded to try and solve the problems.
In some instances, We’re unable to solve these problems not because any one of the two is bad, but we were different people perhaps our upbringing was so different we did not realise that prior to the marriage and so if we have so much of difficulty that it starts affecting our minds and we just cannot cope. It is permissible to separate by way of divorce.
You’re not the first person who is going through a divorce and you will not be the last one, subhanallah.
Remember the divorce is an opportunity given by Allah Almighty for you to Rise and Shine, for you to earn reward, for you to be able to earn the pleasure of Allah and ultimate Paradise.
Who are respectful upon the divorce and after the divorce they are the ones who will actually get Paradise as a result of the divorce perhaps because they engaged in something that was tough for them, but they did it correctly.
Did you know that it is very sinful to issue a divorce by Talaq Thrice?
Hadith says strive to seek that which will benefit and do not feel helpless. Then the prophet (saw) said and then if something overwhelms you then say it is the decree of Allah and He does what He Wills.
So, basically this is Once you have put forth your best and things don’t turn out the way that you want to turn out then say I did my part; Allah subhanahu wa’ta’ala has decreed and I’m pleased with what He has decreed.
We never become dependent on our best efforts, we instead put forth our best efforts, but we always recognize the limitations of our efforts and recognizing the limitations of our efforts does not diminish them…. balance between our role versus the decree of Allah subhanahu wa’ta’ala.
Patience in the midst of all of that Devastation:
Don’t beat yourself up so much over The outcome, seed the positive see what comes out of this for you in regards to the outcomes and don’t go back and say if I would have done this differently, if I would have done that differently…..
Allah subhanahu wa’ta’ala had a plan for you and the end of that plan is good for you.
Every marriage goes through a little bit of turbulence. If you’ve had a disagreement or a little argument which we should be avoiding but human nature that does happen. It doesn’t mean it’s the end of the marriage. people for every small thing, They say we want divorce or we want out of this marriage that is not the prophetic teaching.
So Allah wants us to try, He wants us to sacrifice whenever we’ve had an issue. We should try our best to make things work. A good communication is essential for a happy marriage.
Some people are divorced when they don’t want to be divorced. They feel that they could have made it work and it is quite depressing sometimes and a lot of anxiety comes into play.
You need to know something Allah says in the Quran giving you a lot of comfort.
The verse number 130 of surah an-nisa if the two separate in divorce, the two have divorced, Allah will bless both of them with His virtue, because He definitely is the owner of great virtue and He is very wise. Allah has broad virtue subhanallah.
So remember divorce is not the end of your life. It could be the beginning of a much happier life. So Allah says when you separate be respectful, you don’t need to engage in mudslinging, speaking bad about the other. You need to worry about yourself to the degree that you ask Allah for Goodness, not just for you but even for your ex-spouse.
Let’s learn to try our best and ultimately if it does end in divorce, it’s not the end of the world.
When you complain to Allah Almighty Remember, He hears you, He will definitely come to your help. But when you have been wronged there is no harm in warning others or even informing them.
In surah An-Nisa Allah says how He will grant them the acceptance to solve the #problem who fear that there may be a #split in the relationship of #marriage….
Allah subhanahu wa’ta’ala speaks of difficulty in marriage and he spoken about this in many places in the Quran. A reminder always helps those who believe.
So, Allah subhanahu wa’ta’ala tells us if you are fearing that there may be a split in the relationship of marriage, then if both of you really want to solve the problem. It is Resolvable. It can be solved.
The condition is both of the parties need to want to solve the problem.
The intention should not be to pick on someone, the intention should not be to battle who was right and who was wrong, but the intention Allah says should be we want to go forward. This intention is so Noble if both parties are sincere in it. They will be able to resolve the matter.
During your tough days, Allah subhanahu wa’ta’ala says We will never test a soul with more than it can shoulder. Don’t give up, don’t ever give up. Keep going.
well if I’m in an abusive marriage, I need to keep going even though I’m beaten up and even though I’m…. no, no, no; remember, if you’re in an abusive marriage, you need to ask yourself. How bad is it? If it is really bad, do something about it.
If someone is beating you up you have to do something about it. You can end that marriage, you may. It’s not a sign of patience to allow your body to be harmed, your mind to be harmed, your sanity and your mental health to be harmed and everything Else to be harmed. It’s not a sign of patience that is actually being foolish.
Don’t give up on life, don’t kill yourself and don’t ever contemplate suicide because that’s the worst thing you could ever think of. Allah is merciful. Don’t ever allow yourself To think about ending your life. It’s never as bad as that.
The prophet salallahu alaihe wasalam reminds us who the best from amongst us is- he (saw) Said the best from amongst you is the one who is best to his wife, primarily That’s the meaning but by extension, it includes your spouse which means either way it also includes the broader families,
Why is so much importance given to the #wife? You bring in someone’s daughter, an innocent person, someone who’s come into the house. She is the daughter of a family who loves her.
Now, you’ve brought her with the name of Allah into your care, the best from amongst you are those who can appreciate her for who she is and when you have to correct her or when you have to say something you say it in the Most loving and kind way.
You must stand up for your spouse, never use religious blackmail to oppress your own wife and to let her know or to tell her, you know heaven lies at the feet of my mother. That is statement is used as religious blackmail.
Build your relationship, be kind be good in the way you speak to each other. Don’t be very demanding.
They may like or dislike slightly differently from you. But that doesn’t mean you have the license to disrespect them and disregard who they are, honor them and Allah will give you honor.
What’s the point of having such a good-looking Outward appearance but the way you speak is so bad. Your heart is dirty, filled with disease filled with hatred jealousy deception and so on if we cleanse ourselves, we will definitely be able to achieve the Comfort?
If you were to seek forgiveness from the almighty, then you would automatically have to clean your heart because the two go together hand in hand, you clean your heart, and you seek the Forgiveness of the almighty. He forgives you and you have a big heart to forgive others as well.
Remember marriage is a very big sacrifice. If you are going to sacrifice, you will be happy. If not, it will become a crisis. If you want to protect yourself from the crisis within marriage learn to trust one another and don’t give reason for your spouse not to trust you.
Divorce in Islam is not prohibited, but it’s not a joke either. It’s a last resort when someone really cannot make the marriage work anymore and it’s causing problem hardship, difficulty. It’s becoming a strain on the brain in that particular case, you may want to consider separating.
When you make someone else’s life difficult Allah makes your life difficult, remember it,
my beloved parents when your daughters or your sons would like to marry someone, don’t say no without a valid valid reason, if you don’t have a valid reason and racism is not a valid reason, tribalism is not a valid reason. The fact that this person is darker in complexion is never a valid Reason. So remember allow the marriages and Allah will allow for you to enter Paradise.
You were put there for a reason. That is an opportunity for me to benefit from and I could have easily overlooked you, the same way that that woman could have easily overlooked that dog.
Often you cannot understand someone Else’s vulnerability unless you’ve been vulnerable in the same way; Even if it’s to a lesser extent.
The woman that was thirsty saw that that dog was thirsty for the same water; imam Malik Deenar (rah) saw that that young man was thirsty for the water of guidance. The way that he wants was thirsty for the water of guidance.
Whether Allah puts a bad neighbor in your life or Allah (swt) puts, you know an animal in your life that surrounds you or a Coke can and Street anything right? What are these opportunities of repentance? That Allah subhanahu wa’ta’ala keeps on putting in your way, Right?
If you don’t have a daily relationship with the Quran, then you are fooling yourself into thinking that you are doing good.
These are the Gatherings that will bring sakina upon a house that is fractured, that will erase the sins of a sinner that will illuminate the grave of a Muslim and we’ll take him or her by their hand and guide them to the highest grades in jannah.
Don’t use your tongue and your verbal expression to harm your spouse And remember the mawadda and the rahmah Allah jalla jalaluhu has placed between you something You dislike, don’t insult and don’t Mock and this could leave a lifelong scar that you will struggle later on to amend. – Shaykh Ali Hammuda