People saying that in their marriages because their in-laws were not happy about their spouses marrying who they ended up marrying………………………………….
Your children choose their spouses and sometimes it will not be according to your taste because you married already. They have a different taste. So your choice of a wife may not be the same as your child’s choice of a wife or husband. So you need to make sure that you leave them with that and you are happy for them, being happy for your children make it easy for them, make dua for them.
You need to let it happen knowing that this is the blessing that’s coming into our home. If you don’t want to interact much with the person you don’t have to interact so much but please make sure that you make life easy for them, Allah will make life easy for you.
Remember when people go into a home, there’s a stigma on both sides. Some people think badly about a mother-in-law even before giving her a chance. Any small thing they think negative of that mother-in-law and sometimes the mother-in-law thinks on similar lines regarding the daughter-in-law, they don’t give them a chance, they believe that whatever they do was not with a good intention. They stick to their child such that anything the wife says to the son, they feel that perhaps the wife is trying to separate them from their own son which is not true.
When the child was born you decided everything for the child. As the child grew up Allah took away your decision-making little by little. The child becomes a parent or a husband or a wife in his or her own right .you cannot then decide to have that control and be upset with who they married. Give them a chance; if the two of them are happy what makes you unhappy? Why are you unhappy to see the happiness of your child that is a disease? It’s a disease that is shows a weakness in faith as even happier. If they’re happy something makes them happy so what? Alhumdillah be happy for them- Mufti Menk
Be in truthful company
The prophet peace be upon him says, “A person is known by the friends he or she keeps”. The circle that he rotates with, so be careful whom you befriend, the prophet (saw) said this.
Sometimes we have friends we need to change those friends. If your friends do not teach you how to prioritize then they are not true friends.
Why did you get married? What contentment would you like? You have a wife or a spouse waiting for you. You have children who are desperate for your time. If you don’t spend time with your family, with your wife, with your children after you are married and you spend it with your friends instead all the time, you will lose your contentment.
The company of the truthful they will in fact remind you to go home, they will all disperse early because the night belongs to your spouse, to the almighty obviously but in terms of companionship go back to your family.
Your friends should be better than you in character and conduct. Your friends should be better than you in the dedication that they have towards achieving goodness. – Mufti Menk
The children belong to Allah. Allah gave them to you temporarily and He’s going to take them away. He may take you away before them or He will take them away before you. It is totally up to Him. you have to be happy with the decree of Allah.
We get so attached to our children that we don’t even want them to get married. Allah gave you the children in order to test you. Are you going to do what we want you to do or are you going to do what you want to do against what we want to do? For example your child wants to marry ask yourself a question; the parents need to ask themselves obviously if both the boy and the girl would like it to happen. Does Allah allow it? If the answer is yes tell yourself who am I to disallow, what Allah has allowed?
The brother is too black you know, I promise you I’ve heard that. Black! Bilal ibn Rabah (ra) was from jannah (paradise). He was the darkest of the lot and the prophet (saw) came back and said oh Bilal I went up to Maharaj and guess what? I heard your footsteps there. He didn’t look at the fairest of the lot and say hang on, who’s more…, who is fair in complexion, yeah yours, your footsteps in jannah, no way. ––
It had nothing to do with color. You slice here, you slice there, you slice anywhere, and the blood is red. My brothers and sisters, racism has no space in Islam, not at all. If you do not respect a person simply because their complexion is less than yours, I promise you you’re doomed.
My brothers and sisters you want paradise, understand ‘people are equal’ that’s what Allah says. The day you get to Allah and he gives you your book of records in your right hand. You can then say I did well. I travel through Africa and I witness some of the best Muslims I’ve seen in my life happen to be in the darkest corners of Africa.
Every time you make halal easy, you’ve protected people from harm and every time you’ve made halal difficult, you’ve encouraged people to engage in haram and facilitate it for them. – Mufti Menk
🛑Don’t create a disaster for your future generation ‼️
⚡️Ask yourself a question in the same way that I don’t like people to do wrong to me. Do I do wrong to others that are a very powerful question? Because many people want to be protected from harm but they don’t protect others from their own harm.
✅Let the children communicate with you. If what they want is not Haram, facilitate it for them. If Allah allowed it who are you to disallow it? The children belong to Allah. Allah gave them to you temporarily just to see what you would do, are you going to do what we asked you to do or you’re going to do what your whims and fancies want…………..
#MuftiMenk mentions what #virtues #male #spouse should have from the story of prophet #Moses (#Musa) regarding #marriage. These are – have a strong relationship with his #Maker (#Allah), #character&conduct, hard-working and having attitude of taking #responsibilities.
Mufti Menk Quotes in this clip “If you have married your daughter off to an honourable person who’s responsible he has character and conduct and he has a relationship with his Maker even if he doesn’t have all the glamorous things on earth; he’s going to look after her like a queen”.
In this lecture #MuftiMenk explains the fiqh of courtship and #marriage.We know that character conduct and deen, the deen meaning the level of religion; the level of character; the level of conduct etc; the level of responsibility is also included in that person is responsible with great character and conduct and they know their duty unto Allah because of that responsibility mashallah they are fit to be married but you need to look at them.
Mufti Menk Quotes in this lecture “You don’t have to have a huge engagement whereby you know people are getting bank loans and borrowing because they want to compete with the who’s who in order to show the world that we’ve had a very big engagement; no, those that waste wealth; they are void of Baraka; they’re void of blessings. What is an engagement in Islam- at the point where both the boy and the girl are happy the parents announced that inshallah we have now set a date of Nika. Don’t let that date be two years from now because in those two years Shaitaan will come and spoil the sowing be sown of the seed in a halal way by making it be sown in a Haram way”.
#MuftiMenk enlightens the #rights of the #husband and #wife and the general #etiquettes of the #relationship from the Book “SEXUAL RELATIONS AND MARRIED LIFE” by Maulana Musa Karmadi. These rights help to eliminate disputes in #matrimonial home and enhance trust between a husband and a wife to lead a happy #marriage with utmost #love and #affection in this lecture.
Mufti Menk makes mention of “She must try to fit into the family rather than coming in and making everything change overnight for her sake. Though the wife is entitled to a certain degree of privacy, she must understand that whenever there are a few women who get together and several children then not everything will be done according to one’s desire and liking. There will have to be certain differences and certain things that one will disagree with totally. It is advised to bear patience and exercise tolerance employ the most affectionate effective ways of putting forward our views and points, this does not have to be done immediately but over a period of time using tact and intellect. It is easier to maintain a good relationship than to mend a broken one…”