People saying that in their marriages because their in-laws were not happy about their spouses marrying who they ended up marrying………………………………….
Your children choose their spouses and sometimes it will not be according to your taste because you married already. They have a different taste. So your choice of a wife may not be the same as your child’s choice of a wife or husband. So you need to make sure that you leave them with that and you are happy for them, being happy for your children make it easy for them, make dua for them.
You need to let it happen knowing that this is the blessing that’s coming into our home. If you don’t want to interact much with the person you don’t have to interact so much but please make sure that you make life easy for them, Allah will make life easy for you.
Remember when people go into a home, there’s a stigma on both sides. Some people think badly about a mother-in-law even before giving her a chance. Any small thing they think negative of that mother-in-law and sometimes the mother-in-law thinks on similar lines regarding the daughter-in-law, they don’t give them a chance, they believe that whatever they do was not with a good intention. They stick to their child such that anything the wife says to the son, they feel that perhaps the wife is trying to separate them from their own son which is not true.
When the child was born you decided everything for the child. As the child grew up Allah took away your decision-making little by little. The child becomes a parent or a husband or a wife in his or her own right .you cannot then decide to have that control and be upset with who they married. Give them a chance; if the two of them are happy what makes you unhappy? Why are you unhappy to see the happiness of your child that is a disease? It’s a disease that is shows a weakness in faith as even happier. If they’re happy something makes them happy so what? Alhumdillah be happy for them- Mufti Menk
In this lecture #MuftiMenk give importance on key points like communication, way of saying and know how to let it go through adjusting with situation in order to build in #relationship along with mentioning the virtues of selecting #spouse for a happy #marriage.
Mufti Menk Quotes in this lecture “we end up complaining about people and we promise that we don’t want to be like them and we end up becoming worse than them without realizing it because we’re pointing fingers not knowing that the way to change is actually to begin with yourself”.
#MuftiMenk mentions that this faith (Islam) and this religion is all about building bridges and it’s all about mending #relations. Leniency is a sign of the mercy of Allah when you are lenient with your family members; those who work for you; those who live with you those whom you interact with those of other faiths etc; when you are lenient and kind with them that is a sign of the mercy of Allah upon you. So don’t be mistaken.
Mufti quotes in this lecture “Those who are godly they promote harmony & peace and goodness & solution. They build bridges. They don’t destroy; a sign of closeness to Allah is you are softened”.
#MuftiMenk mentions that remove the hatred in your heart from others or of others #Ramadan is there to build relations (#spouse, family members ,neighbours, etc) to think about where you are and the building of a relationship requires both parties not just one.
Mufti Menk Quotes in this lecture “If we were true followers of the Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him we would learn something from the fact that as he ran down the first person- he embraced was this wife of his. How many of us when we feel that we need some form of reassurance we would go to our spouse…”
To speak about how to resolve #problems in #relationship #MuftiMenk brings forward some points like selecting spouse before marriage, communication and the aim of husband and wife is the pleasure of Allah with view to achieving jannatul ferdous, automatically minimise the problems in relationship to understand the value of spouse.
“Religious blackmail to come up with something to tell their spouse well if you don’t do this you know Allah is gonna punish you and Allah is gonna do this and so when we talk of bringing Allah in the equation let’s be fair, let’s be very fair; you want Allah in the equation, Allah must be in the equation for both of us and we must be able to develop a relationship with Allah such that we realize who is this person and what is this relationship” – Mufti Menk