Category: Family

Family, Marriage, Mufti Menk

Why Marriages Go Wrong & Its Prevention [Powerful] ~ Mufti Menk

Differences are normal. You love your spouse. You will differ with your spouse. You love your children, your parents, your siblings whoever you love, you will never think exactly the same. There might be a little bit of common factor in thought but never 100% the same. That’s how the almighty made you. It’s how you deal with the difference that distinguishes the donkey from the horse.

That’s what distinguishes the one who is closer to the Almighty from the one who’s not. The way you react, the way you use your mind and the way your words come out it requires discipline. That will make you the best of people. Are you ready to speak with utmost respect in your home to begin with, refer to your loved ones as loved ones even if you had a difference?

Tell them how much you love them. the problem with us when things go wrong we open our mouths and we haven’t realized for 19 years things were going right.

The world is such today that people get married without knowing why they’re getting married. They don’t know what marriage is they’re coming together. The biggest sacrifice, that’s what marriage is.

But now it is very sadly and unfortunately the rate of divorce is so high? Can I tell you one of the reasons? When we get married and we don’t watch our tongues, things begin to go wrong because you didn’t watch your mouth and the Almighty warned you at the beginning when you were getting married watch your tongue.

We are not romantic enough but romance is being shown to those besides the one whom it is supposed to be shown to that I love you and the beautiful emoticons and emojis that are continuously being created on platforms that are increasing on a daily basis, all sent beautifully a thousand times mashallah but to the wrong number. That’s where we’re going wrong. If you had to send one tenth of those to the person they were supposed to go to you’d be having walima the following day la illah illa allah.

The prophet (saw) says it’s an act of charity: a good word is an act of charity which means it’s an act of worship. When you think before you speak you have actually worshiped Allah. Because you are using what he gave you and that’s your brain that’s what distinguishes man from animal is the brain, subhanAllah.

if you are really a pious person it shows in the softness of your character but if you’re reading one Quran every three days but you’re abusing someone that Quran you’re actually doing for someone else. watch your tongue, make people feel good, empower them,

If you would like to know maybe of the sisters here are being abused not just here but across the globe, by men who think that they are their bosses and you’re not. Our boss collectively is Allah. He is our maker. Fear Allah, be conscious on Him.

When you are hurting someone, when you’re abusing someone, when you are maltreating someone, remember it’s just a debt that shall be paid back in this world before the next. The Almighty will create someone one day to do exactly the same to you. if not you’re going to face the consequences on the day of judgment which will be even worse.

 

Moisten your tongue with the remembrance of Allah and you will never go wrong.

Remember one thing Islam is not only about five daily prayers, Islam is not only about going for Hajj, Islam is not only about giving charity, Islam is not only about fasting in Ramadan is is also and equally important protecting yourself from abusing others, from hurting others, from usurping their wealth, from doing something wrong to them as much as you have to fulfill the rights of Allah, you have to fulfill the rights of the rest of the creatures of Allah.

You want to change your life while you’re connecting to your Maker, learn to respect those whom the same Maker has created, starting with your spouse. The Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) says the best from amongst you is he or she who is best to his or her spouse. Am I the best? I need to aim for that.

  • Mufti Menk
Family, Mufti Menk, PROPHET MUHAMMAD (pbuh), Sort- Reminders

I Have A 50% Say – Mufti Menk

If you want to be helped help others. The hadeeth I mentioned the almighty tells us through the Blessed lips of Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam that Allah almighty continues to be in the assistance of those who continue to assist others.

It actually is the blessing within your life, the blessing, the Baraka, the contentment and over and above that on the Day of Judgment when you see the reward of it. It’s tremendous, it’s great, and you will never regret it. Charities have never depleted wealth. I have given someone from what the Almighty has given me and because I’ve decided it’s going to happen regularly. The Almighty has written their sustenance somewhere within mine.

A man comes to the messenger peace be upon him complaining about his brother.

We have in our families. We have brothers and so on the wives come in mashallah, all of them are lovely but you must remember each one has had a different upbringing. If brother and sister cannot see eye to eye what do you expect when the in-laws come in and so many.

So the brother comes and he says o Messenger my brother’s doing nothing. I’m spending on him. I’m giving him money. I’m giving him his monthly expense and I’m actually taking care of him and now I’m tired of this and I don’t know how long this is going to carry on and so on.

Doesn’t this happen in some of our families I mean you know in the extended families?

Sometimes in some homes the wife comes in and she says hey are you gonna keep on giving this guy, you know, subhanAllah?  And that’s where the brother has to chip in and say hey that’s my brother, leave me alone. She might argue and say well you know fifty percent of everything you have you know is arguably mine? subhanAllah so I have a 50% say.

It does happen that we tend to get irritated even on our own sometimes. Do you know what? The prophet (saw) responded to this man guess what he said? Powerful words: perhaps you are getting money because you’re spending on him la ilaha ilallah.

But Allah (swt) warns us about spending in a foolish way even if it is a charity. allah tells us you know don’t be miserly and don’t even give so much that you’re giving necessity that’s yours. you need to strike a middle path. – Mufti Menk

Family, Islam, Islamic, Mufti Menk, Trials and tribulations

How To React If Parents Are Wrong – Mufti Menk

We came into existence because the Almighty made us. He decided that He wants to have us here. We did not decide that.

None of us chose to be here for example to be born where none of us chose the parents we have. None of us chose the children that we have in the case of those who have children. May the Almighty bless those who don’t have children with children, Ameen.

That itself already tells us that we are here on a mission. Because when you have an examination your questions are never chosen by you. It’s always someone else who decides to test you, to examine you by asking you things out of his will, not out of yours.

The Almighty chose I’m going to create you, I’m going to put you in a place without your choice, I’m going to throw you into the deep end to see what you do and part of the blessings of the Almighty is that he did not cause us to grow like trees but rather to have families and to be given birth to.

A family unit is actually a blessing from the Almighty. Today the world is drifting away from the family unit and teaching us that you know what? You do it alone. You don’t need your mom. You don’t need your dad. You don’t need your brothers and sisters. You don’t need this and so on and guess what’s happening? We’re becoming people who are not as content as we used to be. We are becoming people who are searching for contentment in every place and in everything. Besides we’re contentment lies.

I get people who complain to me my parents are very difficult. The first thing that comes to my mind is well that’s part of the test of the Almighty: what are you going to do about it? SubhanAllah and that doesn’t mean that I encourage parents to be difficult, because it is also a test for you when the Almighty’s blessed you with a child. you didn’t choose the exact child that you got. So don’t be so difficult my beloved parents.

Remember the world is changing. it’s part of your test to be polite, respectful, merciful, full of beautiful guidance and at the same time realizing that as time passes you will need to pass the baton to those children.

It’s not wrong to disagree with your parents respectfully where you feel that they are wrong, respectfully. When the Quran speaks about parents it emphasizes more on kindness and respect rather than obedience where the parents are wrong.- Mufti Menk

Beauty of The Quran, Family, Shaykh Ali Hammuda

How To Bring Tranquility & Mercy Of Allah Into Your Family~Shaykh Ali Hammuda

This is Bushra right, this is good news.

Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported:

The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said, “Any group of people that assemble in one of the Houses of Allah to recite the Book of Allah, learning and teaching it, tranquility will descend upon them, mercy will engulf them, angels will surround them and Allah will make mention of them to those (the angels) in His proximity.” [Muslim]. Arabic/English book reference: Book 9, Hadith 1023

Sakinah / tranquillity will come down upon them, tranquillity it feels as if all of the troubles of your life have been lifted at least for this hour. Rahmah (mercy of Allah) envelops them.

If the mercy of Allah touches you dear brother dear sister you have nothing to worry about in this life or the hereafter.

It is the promise of Allah (swt).

– Shaykh Ali Hammuda

Family, Sort- Reminders, Transforming Life

Softened Heart Is One Of The Clearest Signs Of The Closeness To Allah ~ Mufti Menk

Does that for Allah; see your family, and see your home becoming a happy home because you put Allah at the beginning. the one was develop your relationship with Allah, the other one was your character and conduct because that Allah has created everything else. Your relationship with all those things watch it, develop it that’s your jannah. Those two things; how you are with Allah and how you are with everything else.

you’ve got you’ve got to cleanse yourself, take out the jealousy, take out the malice, take out the Envy, take out the love you know everyone loves nice things but when that love for worldly items becomes so high you want it by hook or crook and both hooking and crooking are not allowed ,right? It’s not allowed. You can’t crook.

Let’s develop ourselves, many of us are lacking in character. We are Muslims; we’re an embarrassment to Islam a lot of the times. We.. our dealings are not honest and then we’re looking for happiness, sometimes the way we talk to people full of swear words, I promise you we can eradicate that, we can do without it. it doesn’t need to be there. you want a happy home, use respectful terms talk to people with love, with care, with respect in your home, listen to them, help them through their problems,

we want happiness we look… we’re searching for contentment, I promise you Islam has come with so much of ease, a lot of the people actually don’t follow it. They think they do. That’s why we say don’t judge a book by its cover.

Allah tests everyone with different types of tests. When Allah tests you with certain tests, it’s on your level; you’re going to need to ask yourself you know what? This is a test from Allah I need to pass it. It doesn’t mean because I look outwardly pious that suddenly I’m gonna pass all my tests then Shaytan attacks your heart by doing what: Messing it, becoming dirty. You start belittling people.

That’s why when you see a person who’s who’s really close to Allah, one of the clearest signs of the closeness to Allah is that your heart is softened. You feel mercy towards others, that’s from the Prophet Muhammad (saw),

It is because of the mercy of Allah that you are lenient towards everyone. You’re not hard-hearted. You’re not harsh. That’s the sign of the mercy of Allah when you are really close to Allah you become a soft person. In the sense that you care for others; You have mercy.

-Mufti Menk

Family, Important Duas / Supplications, Mufti Menk, Trials and tribulations

Say Alhamdulillah Twice When Thing Doesn’t Go Your Way ~Mufti Menk

We’re searching for happiness, for contentment for goodness for success, guess who is the owner of all those? Allah, so if start off by knocking the right door. Develop your relationship with Allah; develop your relationship with the word of Allah.

Ultimately where do we want to reach? jannatul ferdous it means paradise. Ultimately I want to reach paradise.

There is a direction straight it will lead you to a specific goal and you know that but the problem is you know we’re too engrossed in the world. There is a balance between this dunya and akhira (this worldly life and the Hereafter).  Those who  tell you to divorce yourself from this world have not understood the world and those who tell you to enjoy it to the degree that you’ve forgotten where you’re going to go, had also not understood the reality of the world. The powerful dua is in the following:

وَمِنْهُم مَّن يَقُولُ رَبَّنَا آتِنَا فِي الدُّنْيَا حَسَنَةً وَفِي الْآخِرَةِ حَسَنَةً وَقِنَا عَذَابَ النَّارِ – 2:201

Wa minhum mai yaqoolu rabbanaaa aatina fid dunyaa hasanatanw wa fil aakhirati hasanatanw wa qinaa azaaban Naar

But among them is he who says, “Our Lord, give us in this world [that which is] good and in the Hereafter [that which is] good and protect us from the punishment of the Fire.”

أُولَٰئِكَ لَهُمْ نَصِيبٌ مِّمَّا كَسَبُوا ۚ وَاللَّهُ سَرِيعُ الْحِسَابِ – 2:202

Ulaaa’ika lahum naseebum mimmaa kasaboo; wal laahu saree’ul hisaab

Those will have a share of what they have earned, and Allah is swift in account.

Do you know that if sometimes if the plan you had for your own life was granted exactly as you wanted it perhaps you would not have seen that the successes that you have seen as a result of doors being closed by Allah for you.

When something happens your way say alhamdulillah, when it doesn’t happen your way say alhamdulillah twice because it’shappened the way Allah wanted it anyway. it’s amazing. Don’t become despondent..

The hadith I was saying, one of my favorite. So the prophet (saw) was asked what are the characteristics of those who are in Jannah /Paradise what would be the reasons that got them into paradise.  He just said two words; you need two things… the people of Jannah have two: the consciousness of Allah meaning the relationship with Allah and secondly greatness in character and conduct is meaning the relationship with the rest of the creatures of the same Allah.

When you realize that everything happens according to Allah and when he’s given you the capacity to do something the energy, the mental ability, the intellect that the opportunities seize them, make use of them. Don’t be lazy, don’t sit back and say well if Allah wants it will happen. Allah gave you the capacity, Allah gave you everything you needed to get up to do it and Allah would have opened the doors for you but because you didn’t the doors remain closed.

If after you’ve done everything about it the doors were all closed and everything was closed and even the big black gate in the front became closed then you know what you got to say Allah didn’t want it and walk away. – Mufti Menk

Family, Marriage, Mufti Menk

Every Father-In-Law&Mother-In-Law Of Indo-Pak Should Listen It – Mufti Menk

People saying that in their marriages because their in-laws were not happy about their spouses marrying who they ended up marrying………………………………….

Your children choose their spouses and sometimes it will not be according to your taste because you married already. They have a different taste. So your choice of a wife may not be the same as your child’s choice of a wife or husband. So you need to make sure that you leave them with that and you are happy for them, being happy for your children make it easy for them, make dua for them.

You need to let it happen knowing that this is the blessing that’s coming into our home. If you don’t want to interact much with the person you don’t have to interact so much but please make sure that you make life easy for them, Allah will make life easy for you.

 

Remember when people go into a home, there’s a stigma on both sides. Some people think badly about a mother-in-law even before giving her a chance. Any small thing they think negative of that mother-in-law and sometimes the mother-in-law thinks on similar lines regarding the daughter-in-law, they don’t give them a chance, they believe that whatever they do was not with a good intention. They stick to their child such that anything the wife says to the son, they feel that perhaps the wife is trying to separate them from their own son which is not true.

When the child was born you decided everything for the child. As the child grew up Allah took away your decision-making little by little. The child becomes a parent or a husband or a wife in his or her own right .you cannot then decide to have that control and be upset with who they married. Give them a chance; if the two of them are happy what makes you unhappy? Why are you unhappy to see the happiness of your child that is a disease? It’s a disease that is shows a weakness in faith as even happier. If they’re happy something makes them happy so what? Alhumdillah be happy for them- Mufti Menk

Family, Mufti Menk

Don’t Be Upset When Allah Blessed You A Daughter – Mufti Menk

Allah warns us about those who are not satisfied when Allah blesses them with the female offspring. You have a daughter don’t be upset. You don’t know what goodness is about to come from the particular child.

And when one of them is informed of [the birth of] a female, his face becomes dark, and he suppresses grief. (16:58)

Allah says we will bless you with a male or a female, sometimes only males, sometimes only females, sometimes both male and female, sometimes we may not give you a child but you need to understand it’s the destiny Allah has chosen for you because he knows what is better for you. So don’t become upset with the choice of Allah for you.

Many times people have daughters and they say oh I wish I could have a son but when Allah has blessed you, perhaps those daughters will achieve much more for you than any son could actually have brought. Because it is Allah who allows that to happen.

What you’ve got to do? Just look after those children the way Allah has asked you to look after them because they belong to Allah. As they grow older don’t do what your whims and fancies want you to do.  Do what Allah wants you to do. You will be content, you will be happy.

But all we need to know it is a gift of Allah.  Allah knows best why he gave you, what he gave you, be excited about it, be happy about it even if Allah decided not to give you children be convinced that that is Allah’s plan. Your ultimate success is when you get Jannah – Mufti Menk

 

 

Family, Marriage, Mufti Menk, Sort- Reminders

The Night Belongs To Your Spouse In Terms Of Companionship – Mufti Menk

      Be in truthful company

      ================

The prophet peace be upon him says, “A person is known by the friends he or she keeps”. The circle that he rotates with, so be careful whom you befriend, the prophet (saw) said this.

Sometimes we have friends we need to change those friends. If your friends do not teach you how to prioritize then they are not true friends.

Why did you get married? What contentment would you like? You have a wife or a spouse waiting for you. You have children who are desperate for your time. If you don’t spend time with your family, with your wife, with your children after you are married and you spend it with your friends instead all the time, you will lose your contentment.

The company of the truthful they will in fact remind you to go home, they will all disperse early because the night belongs to your spouse, to the almighty obviously but in terms of companionship go back to your family.

Your friends should be better than you in character and conduct. Your friends should be better than you in the dedication that they have towards achieving goodness. – Mufti Menk

 

Family, Marriage, Mufti Menk

Who Am I To Disallow What Allah Has Allowed Regarding Marriage – Mufti Menk

The children belong to Allah. Allah gave them to you temporarily and He’s going to take them away. He may take you away before them or He will take them away before you. It is totally up to Him. you have to be happy with the decree of Allah.

We get so attached to our children that we don’t even want them to get married. Allah gave you the children in order to test you. Are you going to do what we want you to do or are you going to do what you want to do against what we want to do? For example your child wants to marry ask yourself a question; the parents need to ask themselves obviously if both the boy and the girl would like it to happen. Does Allah allow it? If the answer is yes tell yourself who am I to disallow, what Allah has allowed?

The brother is too black you know, I promise you I’ve heard that.  Black! Bilal ibn Rabah (ra) was from jannah (paradise). He was the darkest of the lot and the prophet (saw) came back and said oh Bilal I went up to Maharaj and guess what? I heard your footsteps there. He didn’t look at the fairest of the lot and say hang on, who’s more…, who is fair in complexion, yeah yours, your footsteps in jannah, no way. ––

It had nothing to do with color. You slice here, you slice there, you slice anywhere, and the blood is red. My brothers and sisters, racism has no space in Islam, not at all. If you do not respect a person simply because their complexion is less than yours, I promise you you’re doomed.

My brothers and sisters you want paradise, understand ‘people are equal’ that’s what Allah says. The day you get to Allah and he gives you your book of records in your right hand. You can then say I did well. I travel through Africa and I witness some of the best Muslims I’ve seen in my life happen to be in the darkest corners of Africa.

Every time you make halal easy, you’ve protected people from harm and every time you’ve made halal difficult, you’ve encouraged people to engage in haram and facilitate it for them. – Mufti Menk