Tag: Mufti Menk

Family, Marriage, Mufti Menk

Why Marriages Go Wrong & Its Prevention [Powerful] ~ Mufti Menk

Differences are normal. You love your spouse. You will differ with your spouse. You love your children, your parents, your siblings whoever you love, you will never think exactly the same. There might be a little bit of common factor in thought but never 100% the same. That’s how the almighty made you. It’s how you deal with the difference that distinguishes the donkey from the horse.

That’s what distinguishes the one who is closer to the Almighty from the one who’s not. The way you react, the way you use your mind and the way your words come out it requires discipline. That will make you the best of people. Are you ready to speak with utmost respect in your home to begin with, refer to your loved ones as loved ones even if you had a difference?

Tell them how much you love them. the problem with us when things go wrong we open our mouths and we haven’t realized for 19 years things were going right.

The world is such today that people get married without knowing why they’re getting married. They don’t know what marriage is they’re coming together. The biggest sacrifice, that’s what marriage is.

But now it is very sadly and unfortunately the rate of divorce is so high? Can I tell you one of the reasons? When we get married and we don’t watch our tongues, things begin to go wrong because you didn’t watch your mouth and the Almighty warned you at the beginning when you were getting married watch your tongue.

We are not romantic enough but romance is being shown to those besides the one whom it is supposed to be shown to that I love you and the beautiful emoticons and emojis that are continuously being created on platforms that are increasing on a daily basis, all sent beautifully a thousand times mashallah but to the wrong number. That’s where we’re going wrong. If you had to send one tenth of those to the person they were supposed to go to you’d be having walima the following day la illah illa allah.

The prophet (saw) says it’s an act of charity: a good word is an act of charity which means it’s an act of worship. When you think before you speak you have actually worshiped Allah. Because you are using what he gave you and that’s your brain that’s what distinguishes man from animal is the brain, subhanAllah.

if you are really a pious person it shows in the softness of your character but if you’re reading one Quran every three days but you’re abusing someone that Quran you’re actually doing for someone else. watch your tongue, make people feel good, empower them,

If you would like to know maybe of the sisters here are being abused not just here but across the globe, by men who think that they are their bosses and you’re not. Our boss collectively is Allah. He is our maker. Fear Allah, be conscious on Him.

When you are hurting someone, when you’re abusing someone, when you are maltreating someone, remember it’s just a debt that shall be paid back in this world before the next. The Almighty will create someone one day to do exactly the same to you. if not you’re going to face the consequences on the day of judgment which will be even worse.

 

Moisten your tongue with the remembrance of Allah and you will never go wrong.

Remember one thing Islam is not only about five daily prayers, Islam is not only about going for Hajj, Islam is not only about giving charity, Islam is not only about fasting in Ramadan is is also and equally important protecting yourself from abusing others, from hurting others, from usurping their wealth, from doing something wrong to them as much as you have to fulfill the rights of Allah, you have to fulfill the rights of the rest of the creatures of Allah.

You want to change your life while you’re connecting to your Maker, learn to respect those whom the same Maker has created, starting with your spouse. The Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) says the best from amongst you is he or she who is best to his or her spouse. Am I the best? I need to aim for that.

  • Mufti Menk
Mufti Menk, Sort- Reminders

E- Friends! I Found A Girl ! Funny – Mufti Menk

E friends, they don’t really exist, E friends, someone telling me that you know what? I I found a girl. This is a true story…… watch the video to know what happened.- Mufti Menk

Family, Mufti Menk, PROPHET MUHAMMAD (pbuh), Sort- Reminders

I Have A 50% Say – Mufti Menk

If you want to be helped help others. The hadeeth I mentioned the almighty tells us through the Blessed lips of Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam that Allah almighty continues to be in the assistance of those who continue to assist others.

It actually is the blessing within your life, the blessing, the Baraka, the contentment and over and above that on the Day of Judgment when you see the reward of it. It’s tremendous, it’s great, and you will never regret it. Charities have never depleted wealth. I have given someone from what the Almighty has given me and because I’ve decided it’s going to happen regularly. The Almighty has written their sustenance somewhere within mine.

A man comes to the messenger peace be upon him complaining about his brother.

We have in our families. We have brothers and so on the wives come in mashallah, all of them are lovely but you must remember each one has had a different upbringing. If brother and sister cannot see eye to eye what do you expect when the in-laws come in and so many.

So the brother comes and he says o Messenger my brother’s doing nothing. I’m spending on him. I’m giving him money. I’m giving him his monthly expense and I’m actually taking care of him and now I’m tired of this and I don’t know how long this is going to carry on and so on.

Doesn’t this happen in some of our families I mean you know in the extended families?

Sometimes in some homes the wife comes in and she says hey are you gonna keep on giving this guy, you know, subhanAllah?  And that’s where the brother has to chip in and say hey that’s my brother, leave me alone. She might argue and say well you know fifty percent of everything you have you know is arguably mine? subhanAllah so I have a 50% say.

It does happen that we tend to get irritated even on our own sometimes. Do you know what? The prophet (saw) responded to this man guess what he said? Powerful words: perhaps you are getting money because you’re spending on him la ilaha ilallah.

But Allah (swt) warns us about spending in a foolish way even if it is a charity. allah tells us you know don’t be miserly and don’t even give so much that you’re giving necessity that’s yours. you need to strike a middle path. – Mufti Menk

Family, Islam, Islamic, Mufti Menk, Trials and tribulations

How To React If Parents Are Wrong – Mufti Menk

We came into existence because the Almighty made us. He decided that He wants to have us here. We did not decide that.

None of us chose to be here for example to be born where none of us chose the parents we have. None of us chose the children that we have in the case of those who have children. May the Almighty bless those who don’t have children with children, Ameen.

That itself already tells us that we are here on a mission. Because when you have an examination your questions are never chosen by you. It’s always someone else who decides to test you, to examine you by asking you things out of his will, not out of yours.

The Almighty chose I’m going to create you, I’m going to put you in a place without your choice, I’m going to throw you into the deep end to see what you do and part of the blessings of the Almighty is that he did not cause us to grow like trees but rather to have families and to be given birth to.

A family unit is actually a blessing from the Almighty. Today the world is drifting away from the family unit and teaching us that you know what? You do it alone. You don’t need your mom. You don’t need your dad. You don’t need your brothers and sisters. You don’t need this and so on and guess what’s happening? We’re becoming people who are not as content as we used to be. We are becoming people who are searching for contentment in every place and in everything. Besides we’re contentment lies.

I get people who complain to me my parents are very difficult. The first thing that comes to my mind is well that’s part of the test of the Almighty: what are you going to do about it? SubhanAllah and that doesn’t mean that I encourage parents to be difficult, because it is also a test for you when the Almighty’s blessed you with a child. you didn’t choose the exact child that you got. So don’t be so difficult my beloved parents.

Remember the world is changing. it’s part of your test to be polite, respectful, merciful, full of beautiful guidance and at the same time realizing that as time passes you will need to pass the baton to those children.

It’s not wrong to disagree with your parents respectfully where you feel that they are wrong, respectfully. When the Quran speaks about parents it emphasizes more on kindness and respect rather than obedience where the parents are wrong.- Mufti Menk

Islam

Have A Respectful Tongue If You Love Prophet Muhammed (ﷺ) – Mufti Menk

Remember one thing, if you want to know whether you really love the messenger (ﷺ) you only need to look at your lifestyle. Look at what you do, look at your ibadah?

A Mumin has a clean, polite, beautiful, respectful tongue at all times. Clean your tongue, say respectful words, be polite, be honorable, command respect by respecting yourself to begin with, automatically people will know you are respectful.

Dress in a way that if the messenger (ﷺ)  were to glance towards you he would be proud of the way you are dressing and speaking and what you are doing Masha’Allah, Tabarakallah.

May Allah strengthen us.

-Mufti Menk

Marriage, Mufti Menk

That Hadith People Forget In Respect Of Marriage Fixation– Mufti Menk

One of the biggest diseases is when we worry about others. So, many problems come about because people worry about what others are going to say; brother, lead your life, the others will follow.

If we followed the proper system that of Islam that is so simple; free of racism, nepotism, tribalism, whatever else ISM and free of materialism etc, we would have been married a long time back.

One of the reasons why we’re not happy in our families is we’re blocking what Allah did not block. Remember this, we stopping what Allah did not stop.

So how can you be happy? How are you going to have a happy home? Towards our happy home you want to walk in that direction.

The hadith says if the Deen is good if the Akhlaq (manners) are great and so on and the both of them would like to marry one another. If you’re not going to let that happen? The same hadith says there will be fitna (distress) and Fasad (rottenness) on earth. People don’t want to hear that hadith. Sometimes religious people don’t want to hear it.

A lot of the people are suffering. Make things, easy make halal easy Allah will give you happiness. If you make halal easy you’ve made haram difficult and if you made halal difficult you made haram easy.

Don’t let your pride and your ego drive you beyond what Allah has told you, not at all.

If Allah wanted he could have created a singular so you have no family. It’s just me. If he wanted he could have done that we could have grown from the ground like the trees, know it’s just me. I’m alone, singular but Allah wanted us to feel better to have a type of a life where we are empowered by those around us. They support us so we live and we can actually have interactions that are beneficial for us. Every interaction will either take you towards Jannah which is paradise or towards Hellfire which is Jahannam every, interaction is one of the two.

Every time something happens ask yourself if the Prophet (saw) was here what would he have told me and it does Allah allowed all these or does he not allow it? How can I actually earn a reward and how can I protect myself from the opposite, as simple as that?

-Mufti Menk

 

Marriage, Mufti Menk, Sort- Reminders, Transforming Life

Beware! People Would Die To Be Married To Your Wife While You Are Alive – Mufti Menk

People are stressed you know what? They can’t show that stress to the people they work with because they’re big guys there. They want to impress the girls at work. so they don’t show them any bad habits, nothing but you go home first thing, you start swearing, you start screaming, you start shouting, you start showing your real self, subhanAllah.

SubhanAllah, that’s why the Prophet (saw) says you know who the best person is, the one who’s best to his family members, always the best. You know why? that person has shown the family that when I’m upset I’m still a good guy, when I’m angry I’m still a good guy, when I’m hungry I’m still a good guy, when I’ve suffered a bad day I’m still a good guy, when I’ve suffered the loss I’m still a good guy and I’m always a good guy. Then you’re really a good guy SubhanAllah. But if you’re a good guy outside the home and when you come back home then you’re not a good guy at all. Who knows better what type of a person you are? Those are at home. So that’s the reason why the prophet (saw) tells us watch who you are. You want to reallyknow who a man is, go ask his wife. You want to really know who a woman is ask the husband or ask the family members.

Be honest be upright, you lose a deal because of your honesty; no problem, Allah will give you Baraka, Baraka in it.

Blessings are snatched away when sins are committed remember that. You have the best spouse, the best person Allah chose for you as a husband or as a wife. You cannot see it because you know what? You’re involved in other sins. so you’re blinded. Blinded by whom? By Shaitaan, your home is no longer happy because your relationship with Allah is weak; your relationship with Shaitaan has become strong. Your relationship with Shaitaan becomes strong you become blind what happens to the blindness? The is the best wife on earth, I don’t want to say but perhaps I should.. Should I? People would die to be married to your wife and you’re still alive…

We couldn’t see that. we’re we’re blinded because there’s some sin blinded because there’s some sin happening either this Haram income there, either this Haram relationships there, either this Haram food there, either there’s something wrong happening there, either there’s no Salah; there’s no connection with Allah. So the coolness of the eyes will not be achieved because the heat of the sin has overtaken that saying, point number one: develop your relationship with Allah. – Mufti Menk

Family, Sort- Reminders, Transforming Life

Softened Heart Is One Of The Clearest Signs Of The Closeness To Allah ~ Mufti Menk

Does that for Allah; see your family, and see your home becoming a happy home because you put Allah at the beginning. the one was develop your relationship with Allah, the other one was your character and conduct because that Allah has created everything else. Your relationship with all those things watch it, develop it that’s your jannah. Those two things; how you are with Allah and how you are with everything else.

you’ve got you’ve got to cleanse yourself, take out the jealousy, take out the malice, take out the Envy, take out the love you know everyone loves nice things but when that love for worldly items becomes so high you want it by hook or crook and both hooking and crooking are not allowed ,right? It’s not allowed. You can’t crook.

Let’s develop ourselves, many of us are lacking in character. We are Muslims; we’re an embarrassment to Islam a lot of the times. We.. our dealings are not honest and then we’re looking for happiness, sometimes the way we talk to people full of swear words, I promise you we can eradicate that, we can do without it. it doesn’t need to be there. you want a happy home, use respectful terms talk to people with love, with care, with respect in your home, listen to them, help them through their problems,

we want happiness we look… we’re searching for contentment, I promise you Islam has come with so much of ease, a lot of the people actually don’t follow it. They think they do. That’s why we say don’t judge a book by its cover.

Allah tests everyone with different types of tests. When Allah tests you with certain tests, it’s on your level; you’re going to need to ask yourself you know what? This is a test from Allah I need to pass it. It doesn’t mean because I look outwardly pious that suddenly I’m gonna pass all my tests then Shaytan attacks your heart by doing what: Messing it, becoming dirty. You start belittling people.

That’s why when you see a person who’s who’s really close to Allah, one of the clearest signs of the closeness to Allah is that your heart is softened. You feel mercy towards others, that’s from the Prophet Muhammad (saw),

It is because of the mercy of Allah that you are lenient towards everyone. You’re not hard-hearted. You’re not harsh. That’s the sign of the mercy of Allah when you are really close to Allah you become a soft person. In the sense that you care for others; You have mercy.

-Mufti Menk

Family, Important Duas / Supplications, Mufti Menk, Trials and tribulations

Say Alhamdulillah Twice When Thing Doesn’t Go Your Way ~Mufti Menk

We’re searching for happiness, for contentment for goodness for success, guess who is the owner of all those? Allah, so if start off by knocking the right door. Develop your relationship with Allah; develop your relationship with the word of Allah.

Ultimately where do we want to reach? jannatul ferdous it means paradise. Ultimately I want to reach paradise.

There is a direction straight it will lead you to a specific goal and you know that but the problem is you know we’re too engrossed in the world. There is a balance between this dunya and akhira (this worldly life and the Hereafter).  Those who  tell you to divorce yourself from this world have not understood the world and those who tell you to enjoy it to the degree that you’ve forgotten where you’re going to go, had also not understood the reality of the world. The powerful dua is in the following:

وَمِنْهُم مَّن يَقُولُ رَبَّنَا آتِنَا فِي الدُّنْيَا حَسَنَةً وَفِي الْآخِرَةِ حَسَنَةً وَقِنَا عَذَابَ النَّارِ – 2:201

Wa minhum mai yaqoolu rabbanaaa aatina fid dunyaa hasanatanw wa fil aakhirati hasanatanw wa qinaa azaaban Naar

But among them is he who says, “Our Lord, give us in this world [that which is] good and in the Hereafter [that which is] good and protect us from the punishment of the Fire.”

أُولَٰئِكَ لَهُمْ نَصِيبٌ مِّمَّا كَسَبُوا ۚ وَاللَّهُ سَرِيعُ الْحِسَابِ – 2:202

Ulaaa’ika lahum naseebum mimmaa kasaboo; wal laahu saree’ul hisaab

Those will have a share of what they have earned, and Allah is swift in account.

Do you know that if sometimes if the plan you had for your own life was granted exactly as you wanted it perhaps you would not have seen that the successes that you have seen as a result of doors being closed by Allah for you.

When something happens your way say alhamdulillah, when it doesn’t happen your way say alhamdulillah twice because it’shappened the way Allah wanted it anyway. it’s amazing. Don’t become despondent..

The hadith I was saying, one of my favorite. So the prophet (saw) was asked what are the characteristics of those who are in Jannah /Paradise what would be the reasons that got them into paradise.  He just said two words; you need two things… the people of Jannah have two: the consciousness of Allah meaning the relationship with Allah and secondly greatness in character and conduct is meaning the relationship with the rest of the creatures of the same Allah.

When you realize that everything happens according to Allah and when he’s given you the capacity to do something the energy, the mental ability, the intellect that the opportunities seize them, make use of them. Don’t be lazy, don’t sit back and say well if Allah wants it will happen. Allah gave you the capacity, Allah gave you everything you needed to get up to do it and Allah would have opened the doors for you but because you didn’t the doors remain closed.

If after you’ve done everything about it the doors were all closed and everything was closed and even the big black gate in the front became closed then you know what you got to say Allah didn’t want it and walk away. – Mufti Menk

Marriage, Mufti Menk

A Lack Of Romance ! Be Inspired From The Story Of An Imam ~Mufti Menk

End of surat al-Furqan Allah subhanahu wa’ta’ala talks about certain prayers that are made by those who are close to Allah. One of them is in the 25th surah, Surah Furqan, verse 74.

Imagine a guy married for 20 years. Following his wife just looking at her face and smiling, la ilaha illaallah that that is real mashallah, what’s wrong with it? When you do something like that it’s actually a Ibadah (prayer). Someone feel worthwhile with as they develop the wrinkles on their faces, you adored them more, and you made them feel worthwhile. You know what? If she is aging you’re aging too, subhanAllah.

You need to look, you need to appreciate, you need to acknowledge, and you need to say good words, try it out at home today.

A lot of us lack romance in our homes, the prophet (SAW) talks the prophet (SAW) talks about it.

I’ve had people come to complain saying you know what we haven’t been intimate in two years.

The prophet Muhammed (saw) said to be intimate with your spouse is an act of worship and an act of charity.

Appreciate your spouse; they sacrificed a lot for you.

Towards a happy family you need to know say good words to your children; tell them how much you love them. no matter how old you are. Learn to respect others. Learn to respect the people, your own family members, talk to them, and communicate with them. Open your heart to them, help them, help them to achieve anything they want to achieve for as long as it’s not Haram let it be, Allah will guide, Allah will open the rest of the doors of the entire Ummah. . – Mufti Menk