Category: Marriage

Islam, Marriage, Mufti Menk

Caught Illicit Affairs Of Spouse! No Forgiveness! Listen & Your Discretion ~ Mufti Menk

Oh people! The promise of the almighty is the truth. World deceive you. It is very temporary and it is very fake, subhanAllah, and don’t let the big deceiver deceive you, Shaitaan; the devil, the big deceiver.  He gonna come and try and make you do things that you’re not supposed to be doing. The almighty says its okay, Turn back to me as you turn back to the Almighty, He wipes out your sin. As He’s wiped out your sin the devil comes back and says no, you’re not forgiven. That almighty is not merciful.

The Almighty is not merciful. That’s a bigger sin than the sin you committed initially. Initially it was a sin out of your weakness. Now it’s a sin questioning who the Almighty is and denying one of His qualities known as the most merciful or the most forgiving, the most compassionate. So be careful be careful of the deception of this world.

Nobody from amongst us is perfect, not a soul, because part of the plan of the Almighty is human desire will lead you towards things that you’re not supposed to be doing. You may fall out of human weakness. Not because you’re defying Allah but you didn’t want to do it but you fell.

If you are walking here and you trip what would you do? Get up and do what? Keep walking, right? And even other persons coming and you turn around and see them what will you tell them? Be careful right? The winners are those who when they trip they get up and they keep going. We’re not perfect. Perfection is for the hereafter. When I am in here I shouldn’t lose hope number one but I need to keep trying to develop my relationship with Allah.

When you’re conscious of Allah and you have a relationship with Allah and you love Allah and that Allah is so close to you within your heart and you want to prove to Him that you love Him, wouldn’t you love everything that He has made? Even if you disagree with some of the people around you, your character will ensure that you don’t insult them or abuse them.

When I’m a pious person close to Allah I learned to love everyone to care for them, to treat them equally because they’re all the creatures of Allah. I will give them importance simply because they were created by the same one whom I’m trying to prove my love to. Be respectful; show it in your character.

Allah says in your life no matter what deeds you’ve done Allah says if you seek forgiveness I will forgive you.

When people are caught in immoral relations or illicit Affairs when they are married and the spouse catches them and says you know what? That’s the blessing of Allah that you were caught. You know why? Now you’re going to give it up, inshallah.

 

 

Nowadays people are not so forgiving, so if you’re caught, they’re gonna say I want out. I tell you my brothers and sisters not everyone who’s committed the sin is an evil person. They may have made a mistake. sometimes Allah wanted you to see something because he loved them so much and He knows by you making a big deal out of it that person’s gonna quit the habit and become such a better person, subhanAllah.

So it doesn’t mean that I need a divorce straight away. Don’t just listen to the world the world tells you the minute you catch your spouse doing something wrong that’s it, go home. I’ll tell you not necessarily means if the person is a good person, they taking care of you you’re taking care of each other, there’s a lot of respect, there’s kindness, there’s fulfilment of rights… mend it and keep the same Mercedes.

But if the person is evil and abusive and hurtful and they don’t fulfill their rights and they don’t dis and they don’t that and then you catch them doing X Y & Z then perhaps you might want to look into final separation that was the last stroke, gone.

Marriage, Mufti Menk

Holding Back That Talaq! Nullification of Marriage / Divorce By Women In Islam~Mufti Menk | Goosebumps Reminder

Increasingly people are becoming unhappy with their marriages. We need to try and resolve your matters, try and solve your problems. If you’re not going to be prepared to try and solve the matter, you’re not going to get anywhere.

I’ve been dealing with cases where the men are becoming greedy sometimes such that they don’t want to live with their wives because they’re either having an affair or they’re either leading some form of a dark life or they simply don’t like the wife anymore, they neither share intimate moments with them. They probably sleep separately with them. In a lot of cases and they don’t want to divorce them and they don’t want to do anything about it, they neither want to release them nor do they want to keep them properly. This is prohibited. the Quran says that you should not leave a person muAAallaqa, muAAallaqa meaning she’s hanging, neither can she say she’s married because the guy is not even behaving like a husband and there’s no rights being fulfilled nor she says she’s divorced because she doesn’t have the divorce.

So in that case normally the scholars are to come in and to resolve the matter. If need be they can nullify that marriage.

Some greedy men have gone away with the belongings of their wives. They go away with the belongings of their wives. My brothers, my sisters that mahr is owed to the woman. It is owed to her. It’s her right, if you don’t give it to her Allah will take it from you through sickness, through accidents, through some form of disaster that money is not yours. Allah will take it from you. So rather give it like a good boy. Allah does not leave people to oppress others. He gives you a chance to resolve the matter. That chance differs from person to person, the length of it.

If you release her, release her with honor, that’s the sign of a Muslim. Don’t involve your kids in the mess. it will stunt their growth.

When we think we’re holy but Allah tests you with things that are tough for you. You got to, throw your ego aside, throw it aside and do what’s right. You holding somebody’s money throw your ego give it. you’re holding somebody’s property, throw your ego, give it you don’t throw your ego, you’re going to pay a price for it and I’m not mincing my words you will pay and that payment will be very very heavy remember this.

Don’t talk bad about people after the divorce. It’s over. You didn’t get along with him someone else would get along with them. Control your anger, your temper, say good words, can’t you be a lovely person.

How can you steal the mahr of your wife how?  What do you think Allah was going to do when Allah says in surahtul surah mujadilah; Allah says Allah has heard the one who is discussing with you or who is complaining to you about her husband, complaining to Allah (swt). Allah make it easy because we need to be human beings come on you should learn to love people and to care for them and to care for even those you dislike. Treat others the way you would like to be treated. One of the qualities of the wealthiest of people is that he or she can forgive, forgive, don’t hold it in your heart.

So let’s learn to release people or break… if we are going to break a relationship or a marriage or whatever else it should happen with honor and dignity with respect bearing in mind that when we came together, we came together with the name of Allah, many times when divorces happen people show their true colors and you cannot believe that you were actually married into this family.  you want to see someone’s true colors, check what happens when things don’t go their way. – Mufti Menk

Family, Islam, Marriage, Mufti Menk

One Of The Worst Questions To A Married Couple – Mufti Menk

Children are a gift from Allah but they can also be a source of stress and distress. so when Allah has given you children, thank Him and ask Him to help you to raise them. When Allah has not given you children, thank Him and be reassured that He has protected you from something or He knows something that you don’t know. That’s why He did not give you the child.

You know what is one of the worst questions, you can ever ask a married couple? When are you going to have children? That’s a very bad question. You know why? In a lot of cases it’s not even in their hands. They want to have the children but they cannot.

Infertility is increasing on the global level. I don’t know if you are aware of that.

Pray for people rather than asking a question that will bring tears to the eyes of the couple or at least the woman. May Allah grant us ease.

And then people start looking and saying I know the problem is with her not with him. How do you know? Even if they told you I know of a sister whom.. They don’t have children and the issue is with the husband but she takes the blame for that man, subhanAllah. She says no, no, it is an issue with me.

I say look at this she wants the honor for that man who would do that? I want to say something controversial. I don’t think many men would take blame for their women.

Family, Marriage, Mufti Menk

Why Marriages Go Wrong & Its Prevention [Powerful] ~ Mufti Menk

Differences are normal. You love your spouse. You will differ with your spouse. You love your children, your parents, your siblings whoever you love, you will never think exactly the same. There might be a little bit of common factor in thought but never 100% the same. That’s how the almighty made you. It’s how you deal with the difference that distinguishes the donkey from the horse.

That’s what distinguishes the one who is closer to the Almighty from the one who’s not. The way you react, the way you use your mind and the way your words come out it requires discipline. That will make you the best of people. Are you ready to speak with utmost respect in your home to begin with, refer to your loved ones as loved ones even if you had a difference?

Tell them how much you love them. the problem with us when things go wrong we open our mouths and we haven’t realized for 19 years things were going right.

The world is such today that people get married without knowing why they’re getting married. They don’t know what marriage is they’re coming together. The biggest sacrifice, that’s what marriage is.

But now it is very sadly and unfortunately the rate of divorce is so high? Can I tell you one of the reasons? When we get married and we don’t watch our tongues, things begin to go wrong because you didn’t watch your mouth and the Almighty warned you at the beginning when you were getting married watch your tongue.

We are not romantic enough but romance is being shown to those besides the one whom it is supposed to be shown to that I love you and the beautiful emoticons and emojis that are continuously being created on platforms that are increasing on a daily basis, all sent beautifully a thousand times mashallah but to the wrong number. That’s where we’re going wrong. If you had to send one tenth of those to the person they were supposed to go to you’d be having walima the following day la illah illa allah.

The prophet (saw) says it’s an act of charity: a good word is an act of charity which means it’s an act of worship. When you think before you speak you have actually worshiped Allah. Because you are using what he gave you and that’s your brain that’s what distinguishes man from animal is the brain, subhanAllah.

if you are really a pious person it shows in the softness of your character but if you’re reading one Quran every three days but you’re abusing someone that Quran you’re actually doing for someone else. watch your tongue, make people feel good, empower them,

If you would like to know maybe of the sisters here are being abused not just here but across the globe, by men who think that they are their bosses and you’re not. Our boss collectively is Allah. He is our maker. Fear Allah, be conscious on Him.

When you are hurting someone, when you’re abusing someone, when you are maltreating someone, remember it’s just a debt that shall be paid back in this world before the next. The Almighty will create someone one day to do exactly the same to you. if not you’re going to face the consequences on the day of judgment which will be even worse.

 

Moisten your tongue with the remembrance of Allah and you will never go wrong.

Remember one thing Islam is not only about five daily prayers, Islam is not only about going for Hajj, Islam is not only about giving charity, Islam is not only about fasting in Ramadan is is also and equally important protecting yourself from abusing others, from hurting others, from usurping their wealth, from doing something wrong to them as much as you have to fulfill the rights of Allah, you have to fulfill the rights of the rest of the creatures of Allah.

You want to change your life while you’re connecting to your Maker, learn to respect those whom the same Maker has created, starting with your spouse. The Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) says the best from amongst you is he or she who is best to his or her spouse. Am I the best? I need to aim for that.

  • Mufti Menk
Marriage, Mufti Menk

That Hadith People Forget In Respect Of Marriage Fixation– Mufti Menk

One of the biggest diseases is when we worry about others. So, many problems come about because people worry about what others are going to say; brother, lead your life, the others will follow.

If we followed the proper system that of Islam that is so simple; free of racism, nepotism, tribalism, whatever else ISM and free of materialism etc, we would have been married a long time back.

One of the reasons why we’re not happy in our families is we’re blocking what Allah did not block. Remember this, we stopping what Allah did not stop.

So how can you be happy? How are you going to have a happy home? Towards our happy home you want to walk in that direction.

The hadith says if the Deen is good if the Akhlaq (manners) are great and so on and the both of them would like to marry one another. If you’re not going to let that happen? The same hadith says there will be fitna (distress) and Fasad (rottenness) on earth. People don’t want to hear that hadith. Sometimes religious people don’t want to hear it.

A lot of the people are suffering. Make things, easy make halal easy Allah will give you happiness. If you make halal easy you’ve made haram difficult and if you made halal difficult you made haram easy.

Don’t let your pride and your ego drive you beyond what Allah has told you, not at all.

If Allah wanted he could have created a singular so you have no family. It’s just me. If he wanted he could have done that we could have grown from the ground like the trees, know it’s just me. I’m alone, singular but Allah wanted us to feel better to have a type of a life where we are empowered by those around us. They support us so we live and we can actually have interactions that are beneficial for us. Every interaction will either take you towards Jannah which is paradise or towards Hellfire which is Jahannam every, interaction is one of the two.

Every time something happens ask yourself if the Prophet (saw) was here what would he have told me and it does Allah allowed all these or does he not allow it? How can I actually earn a reward and how can I protect myself from the opposite, as simple as that?

-Mufti Menk

 

Marriage, Mufti Menk, Sort- Reminders, Transforming Life

Beware! People Would Die To Be Married To Your Wife While You Are Alive – Mufti Menk

People are stressed you know what? They can’t show that stress to the people they work with because they’re big guys there. They want to impress the girls at work. so they don’t show them any bad habits, nothing but you go home first thing, you start swearing, you start screaming, you start shouting, you start showing your real self, subhanAllah.

SubhanAllah, that’s why the Prophet (saw) says you know who the best person is, the one who’s best to his family members, always the best. You know why? that person has shown the family that when I’m upset I’m still a good guy, when I’m angry I’m still a good guy, when I’m hungry I’m still a good guy, when I’ve suffered a bad day I’m still a good guy, when I’ve suffered the loss I’m still a good guy and I’m always a good guy. Then you’re really a good guy SubhanAllah. But if you’re a good guy outside the home and when you come back home then you’re not a good guy at all. Who knows better what type of a person you are? Those are at home. So that’s the reason why the prophet (saw) tells us watch who you are. You want to reallyknow who a man is, go ask his wife. You want to really know who a woman is ask the husband or ask the family members.

Be honest be upright, you lose a deal because of your honesty; no problem, Allah will give you Baraka, Baraka in it.

Blessings are snatched away when sins are committed remember that. You have the best spouse, the best person Allah chose for you as a husband or as a wife. You cannot see it because you know what? You’re involved in other sins. so you’re blinded. Blinded by whom? By Shaitaan, your home is no longer happy because your relationship with Allah is weak; your relationship with Shaitaan has become strong. Your relationship with Shaitaan becomes strong you become blind what happens to the blindness? The is the best wife on earth, I don’t want to say but perhaps I should.. Should I? People would die to be married to your wife and you’re still alive…

We couldn’t see that. we’re we’re blinded because there’s some sin blinded because there’s some sin happening either this Haram income there, either this Haram relationships there, either this Haram food there, either there’s something wrong happening there, either there’s no Salah; there’s no connection with Allah. So the coolness of the eyes will not be achieved because the heat of the sin has overtaken that saying, point number one: develop your relationship with Allah. – Mufti Menk

Marriage, Mufti Menk

A Lack Of Romance ! Be Inspired From The Story Of An Imam ~Mufti Menk

End of surat al-Furqan Allah subhanahu wa’ta’ala talks about certain prayers that are made by those who are close to Allah. One of them is in the 25th surah, Surah Furqan, verse 74.

Imagine a guy married for 20 years. Following his wife just looking at her face and smiling, la ilaha illaallah that that is real mashallah, what’s wrong with it? When you do something like that it’s actually a Ibadah (prayer). Someone feel worthwhile with as they develop the wrinkles on their faces, you adored them more, and you made them feel worthwhile. You know what? If she is aging you’re aging too, subhanAllah.

You need to look, you need to appreciate, you need to acknowledge, and you need to say good words, try it out at home today.

A lot of us lack romance in our homes, the prophet (SAW) talks the prophet (SAW) talks about it.

I’ve had people come to complain saying you know what we haven’t been intimate in two years.

The prophet Muhammed (saw) said to be intimate with your spouse is an act of worship and an act of charity.

Appreciate your spouse; they sacrificed a lot for you.

Towards a happy family you need to know say good words to your children; tell them how much you love them. no matter how old you are. Learn to respect others. Learn to respect the people, your own family members, talk to them, and communicate with them. Open your heart to them, help them, help them to achieve anything they want to achieve for as long as it’s not Haram let it be, Allah will guide, Allah will open the rest of the doors of the entire Ummah. . – Mufti Menk

Important Duas / Supplications, Marriage, Sheikh Omar Suleiman

Powerful Duas Between Sons & Mothers Will Bring Tears To Your Eyes ~ Shaykh Omar Suleiman

What does it mean to actually get the dua of your mother? When your mom or your parents will actually say oh Allah and they’ll have something that is favorable to you implied in that dua.

Allah has ordered excellence to both of your parents and then specifying the mother that she carried you in pain, she gave birth to you in pain, she fed you in pain, she nurtured you in pain, and she went through all of that for you. She deserves that honor .

 

oh my lord honor him and have mercy on him the way  that he has dignified me and obeyed me in my old age – Mother of abu hurairah (ra)

That singled dua is so precious I there is no limit to that dua, no limit to that supplication of appearance.

The dua of a mother could even get you the companionship of a prophet. And more than all of that, it could bring barakah in your life and acceptance in the hereafter in ways that nothing else can.

That blessing is induced through natural service, do things that will naturally induce a good dua,

if your parents are not alive then just as when they are alive you are to honor them with that goodness then honor them with good deeds in their name that sadaqah jariyah and those deeds will reach them and on the day of judgment they will be holding those good deeds that you did on their behalf and testifying in front of Allah (swt) for you.

If the dua of a mother can bring that much baraka on a person’s life, you better want your spouse to get that dua from their mother. husband and wife part of your making your spouse a more complete Muslim and getting that dua, and getting that baraka in life that potential … pleasure in the hereafter is when they get those duas from their parents. don’t see your mother-in-law as an opponent in that sense of Kadima because it may be the kidma that your husband or wife gives to their mother that brings that Baraka in your married life and in your life in general and your acceptance in the hereafter, don’t see them as opponents, help your spouse honor their parents.

Shaykh Omar Suleiman

 

Marriage, Mufti Menk

Watch It Immediately If You Are Planning To Get Married ~ Mufti Menk

We were asking a question; are you prepared or are you ready to be a spouse, whether it’s a husband or a wife? Do you have what it takes to be a spouse? Do you know the qualities that t are required for a person to qualify to be a spouse.

If you don’t have communication skills you cannot succeed in a marriage. You need to be very patient, patience is the cornerstone. Patience is a quality that is required for you to be qualified as a person ready to get married. If you don’t have patience, you don’t know how to talk to people.

So if you don’t have patience you end up divorcing people. You end up not realizing that the problems can be resolved.

You need to learn to be slightly selfless. if you’re selfish you’re not going to get along even with the best of the globe. If you address the matters in a beautiful way you will be able to succeed in your marriage.

You need to learn how to talk to people, you need to be patient. You need to be selfless to a great degree, learn to accommodate others.

Sometimes you don’t like to do certain things. You have to learn to like to do certain things that you may not ideally like to do, simply to put a smile on the faces of those whom you love.

So this is the reason why it’s important for us to actually develop these qualities before we get married.

We need to be very kind and kindness begins at home. You need to be generous, don’t be miserly, don’t waste.

How many times are you prepared to utter beautiful words to your spouse? Words of love, words of kindness, politeness, how many times do you look at your spouse and you actually say Beautiful words to them.

When you have an issue becomes a screaming and yelling match, lower your voice.

It’s important for us to know that when you haven’t developed yourself, you really are not ready to get married really. You need to make sure that that you develop your characteristics, your qualities have feeling within you, have mercy. if we don’t have mercy within you,  the other person will not you know be merciful either. If you’re not merciful on your spouse you will never have the mercy of Allah (swt).

A spouse is someone whom you are ready to help; they’re ready to help you.- Mufti Menk

Family, Marriage, Mufti Menk

Every Father-In-Law&Mother-In-Law Of Indo-Pak Should Listen It – Mufti Menk

People saying that in their marriages because their in-laws were not happy about their spouses marrying who they ended up marrying………………………………….

Your children choose their spouses and sometimes it will not be according to your taste because you married already. They have a different taste. So your choice of a wife may not be the same as your child’s choice of a wife or husband. So you need to make sure that you leave them with that and you are happy for them, being happy for your children make it easy for them, make dua for them.

You need to let it happen knowing that this is the blessing that’s coming into our home. If you don’t want to interact much with the person you don’t have to interact so much but please make sure that you make life easy for them, Allah will make life easy for you.

 

Remember when people go into a home, there’s a stigma on both sides. Some people think badly about a mother-in-law even before giving her a chance. Any small thing they think negative of that mother-in-law and sometimes the mother-in-law thinks on similar lines regarding the daughter-in-law, they don’t give them a chance, they believe that whatever they do was not with a good intention. They stick to their child such that anything the wife says to the son, they feel that perhaps the wife is trying to separate them from their own son which is not true.

When the child was born you decided everything for the child. As the child grew up Allah took away your decision-making little by little. The child becomes a parent or a husband or a wife in his or her own right .you cannot then decide to have that control and be upset with who they married. Give them a chance; if the two of them are happy what makes you unhappy? Why are you unhappy to see the happiness of your child that is a disease? It’s a disease that is shows a weakness in faith as even happier. If they’re happy something makes them happy so what? Alhumdillah be happy for them- Mufti Menk