Category: Mufti Menk

Marriage, Mufti Menk

That Hadith People Forget In Respect Of Marriage Fixation– Mufti Menk

One of the biggest diseases is when we worry about others. So, many problems come about because people worry about what others are going to say; brother, lead your life, the others will follow.

If we followed the proper system that of Islam that is so simple; free of racism, nepotism, tribalism, whatever else ISM and free of materialism etc, we would have been married a long time back.

One of the reasons why we’re not happy in our families is we’re blocking what Allah did not block. Remember this, we stopping what Allah did not stop.

So how can you be happy? How are you going to have a happy home? Towards our happy home you want to walk in that direction.

The hadith says if the Deen is good if the Akhlaq (manners) are great and so on and the both of them would like to marry one another. If you’re not going to let that happen? The same hadith says there will be fitna (distress) and Fasad (rottenness) on earth. People don’t want to hear that hadith. Sometimes religious people don’t want to hear it.

A lot of the people are suffering. Make things, easy make halal easy Allah will give you happiness. If you make halal easy you’ve made haram difficult and if you made halal difficult you made haram easy.

Don’t let your pride and your ego drive you beyond what Allah has told you, not at all.

If Allah wanted he could have created a singular so you have no family. It’s just me. If he wanted he could have done that we could have grown from the ground like the trees, know it’s just me. I’m alone, singular but Allah wanted us to feel better to have a type of a life where we are empowered by those around us. They support us so we live and we can actually have interactions that are beneficial for us. Every interaction will either take you towards Jannah which is paradise or towards Hellfire which is Jahannam every, interaction is one of the two.

Every time something happens ask yourself if the Prophet (saw) was here what would he have told me and it does Allah allowed all these or does he not allow it? How can I actually earn a reward and how can I protect myself from the opposite, as simple as that?

-Mufti Menk

 

Marriage, Mufti Menk, Sort- Reminders, Transforming Life

Beware! People Would Die To Be Married To Your Wife While You Are Alive – Mufti Menk

People are stressed you know what? They can’t show that stress to the people they work with because they’re big guys there. They want to impress the girls at work. so they don’t show them any bad habits, nothing but you go home first thing, you start swearing, you start screaming, you start shouting, you start showing your real self, subhanAllah.

SubhanAllah, that’s why the Prophet (saw) says you know who the best person is, the one who’s best to his family members, always the best. You know why? that person has shown the family that when I’m upset I’m still a good guy, when I’m angry I’m still a good guy, when I’m hungry I’m still a good guy, when I’ve suffered a bad day I’m still a good guy, when I’ve suffered the loss I’m still a good guy and I’m always a good guy. Then you’re really a good guy SubhanAllah. But if you’re a good guy outside the home and when you come back home then you’re not a good guy at all. Who knows better what type of a person you are? Those are at home. So that’s the reason why the prophet (saw) tells us watch who you are. You want to reallyknow who a man is, go ask his wife. You want to really know who a woman is ask the husband or ask the family members.

Be honest be upright, you lose a deal because of your honesty; no problem, Allah will give you Baraka, Baraka in it.

Blessings are snatched away when sins are committed remember that. You have the best spouse, the best person Allah chose for you as a husband or as a wife. You cannot see it because you know what? You’re involved in other sins. so you’re blinded. Blinded by whom? By Shaitaan, your home is no longer happy because your relationship with Allah is weak; your relationship with Shaitaan has become strong. Your relationship with Shaitaan becomes strong you become blind what happens to the blindness? The is the best wife on earth, I don’t want to say but perhaps I should.. Should I? People would die to be married to your wife and you’re still alive…

We couldn’t see that. we’re we’re blinded because there’s some sin blinded because there’s some sin happening either this Haram income there, either this Haram relationships there, either this Haram food there, either there’s something wrong happening there, either there’s no Salah; there’s no connection with Allah. So the coolness of the eyes will not be achieved because the heat of the sin has overtaken that saying, point number one: develop your relationship with Allah. – Mufti Menk

Family, Important Duas / Supplications, Mufti Menk, Trials and tribulations

Say Alhamdulillah Twice When Thing Doesn’t Go Your Way ~Mufti Menk

We’re searching for happiness, for contentment for goodness for success, guess who is the owner of all those? Allah, so if start off by knocking the right door. Develop your relationship with Allah; develop your relationship with the word of Allah.

Ultimately where do we want to reach? jannatul ferdous it means paradise. Ultimately I want to reach paradise.

There is a direction straight it will lead you to a specific goal and you know that but the problem is you know we’re too engrossed in the world. There is a balance between this dunya and akhira (this worldly life and the Hereafter).  Those who  tell you to divorce yourself from this world have not understood the world and those who tell you to enjoy it to the degree that you’ve forgotten where you’re going to go, had also not understood the reality of the world. The powerful dua is in the following:

وَمِنْهُم مَّن يَقُولُ رَبَّنَا آتِنَا فِي الدُّنْيَا حَسَنَةً وَفِي الْآخِرَةِ حَسَنَةً وَقِنَا عَذَابَ النَّارِ – 2:201

Wa minhum mai yaqoolu rabbanaaa aatina fid dunyaa hasanatanw wa fil aakhirati hasanatanw wa qinaa azaaban Naar

But among them is he who says, “Our Lord, give us in this world [that which is] good and in the Hereafter [that which is] good and protect us from the punishment of the Fire.”

أُولَٰئِكَ لَهُمْ نَصِيبٌ مِّمَّا كَسَبُوا ۚ وَاللَّهُ سَرِيعُ الْحِسَابِ – 2:202

Ulaaa’ika lahum naseebum mimmaa kasaboo; wal laahu saree’ul hisaab

Those will have a share of what they have earned, and Allah is swift in account.

Do you know that if sometimes if the plan you had for your own life was granted exactly as you wanted it perhaps you would not have seen that the successes that you have seen as a result of doors being closed by Allah for you.

When something happens your way say alhamdulillah, when it doesn’t happen your way say alhamdulillah twice because it’shappened the way Allah wanted it anyway. it’s amazing. Don’t become despondent..

The hadith I was saying, one of my favorite. So the prophet (saw) was asked what are the characteristics of those who are in Jannah /Paradise what would be the reasons that got them into paradise.  He just said two words; you need two things… the people of Jannah have two: the consciousness of Allah meaning the relationship with Allah and secondly greatness in character and conduct is meaning the relationship with the rest of the creatures of the same Allah.

When you realize that everything happens according to Allah and when he’s given you the capacity to do something the energy, the mental ability, the intellect that the opportunities seize them, make use of them. Don’t be lazy, don’t sit back and say well if Allah wants it will happen. Allah gave you the capacity, Allah gave you everything you needed to get up to do it and Allah would have opened the doors for you but because you didn’t the doors remain closed.

If after you’ve done everything about it the doors were all closed and everything was closed and even the big black gate in the front became closed then you know what you got to say Allah didn’t want it and walk away. – Mufti Menk

Marriage, Mufti Menk

A Lack Of Romance ! Be Inspired From The Story Of An Imam ~Mufti Menk

End of surat al-Furqan Allah subhanahu wa’ta’ala talks about certain prayers that are made by those who are close to Allah. One of them is in the 25th surah, Surah Furqan, verse 74.

Imagine a guy married for 20 years. Following his wife just looking at her face and smiling, la ilaha illaallah that that is real mashallah, what’s wrong with it? When you do something like that it’s actually a Ibadah (prayer). Someone feel worthwhile with as they develop the wrinkles on their faces, you adored them more, and you made them feel worthwhile. You know what? If she is aging you’re aging too, subhanAllah.

You need to look, you need to appreciate, you need to acknowledge, and you need to say good words, try it out at home today.

A lot of us lack romance in our homes, the prophet (SAW) talks the prophet (SAW) talks about it.

I’ve had people come to complain saying you know what we haven’t been intimate in two years.

The prophet Muhammed (saw) said to be intimate with your spouse is an act of worship and an act of charity.

Appreciate your spouse; they sacrificed a lot for you.

Towards a happy family you need to know say good words to your children; tell them how much you love them. no matter how old you are. Learn to respect others. Learn to respect the people, your own family members, talk to them, and communicate with them. Open your heart to them, help them, help them to achieve anything they want to achieve for as long as it’s not Haram let it be, Allah will guide, Allah will open the rest of the doors of the entire Ummah. . – Mufti Menk

Mufti Menk

Watch It If You Feel Helpless Losing Loved One – Mufti Menk

If you were to look at the reason behind the creation of mankind, Allah (swt) mentions a few things primarily He says I have not created mankind of jinkind except for them to worship Me, for them to worship Allah subhanahu wata’ala primarily that’s the purpose of creation.

Someone put us here. We will also not choose to die, he will take us back when the examination is over, because one of the other purposes is to be able to worship Allah through the tests that He puts us through in our lives. This is why nobody’s life ever has been free of tests.

 

Allah says We will take away the life, the life of what, of who.. people around you who you love perhaps, people around you whom you see and witness, family, community whoever else, however We want to take it We will take it. People say why are innocent children dying?

The one Who gave them the life loves them more than the people who gave birth to them. People say the mother’s love is the highest. Actually Allah’s love is higher than that.

Do you understand that Allah’s plan, they might be the means of your entry into Jannah.

Allah says we will always do you a favor, you don’t know the future, we know the future, the knowledge.

On the day of qiyamah, there will be a caller who is going to call where are those who used to thank Allah in tough times and in good times, bring them come forth, VIPs.

You are here to be tested. Don’t become despondent because of one or two challenges in your life or a hundred or a thousand challenges and you.

Allah says behold! The help of Allah is very near, don’t lose hope. So Allah says  seek assistance, seek help through what? Patience and prayer… – Mufti Menk

Important Duas / Supplications, Marriage, Sheikh Omar Suleiman

Powerful Duas Between Sons & Mothers Will Bring Tears To Your Eyes ~ Shaykh Omar Suleiman

What does it mean to actually get the dua of your mother? When your mom or your parents will actually say oh Allah and they’ll have something that is favorable to you implied in that dua.

Allah has ordered excellence to both of your parents and then specifying the mother that she carried you in pain, she gave birth to you in pain, she fed you in pain, she nurtured you in pain, and she went through all of that for you. She deserves that honor .

 

oh my lord honor him and have mercy on him the way  that he has dignified me and obeyed me in my old age – Mother of abu hurairah (ra)

That singled dua is so precious I there is no limit to that dua, no limit to that supplication of appearance.

The dua of a mother could even get you the companionship of a prophet. And more than all of that, it could bring barakah in your life and acceptance in the hereafter in ways that nothing else can.

That blessing is induced through natural service, do things that will naturally induce a good dua,

if your parents are not alive then just as when they are alive you are to honor them with that goodness then honor them with good deeds in their name that sadaqah jariyah and those deeds will reach them and on the day of judgment they will be holding those good deeds that you did on their behalf and testifying in front of Allah (swt) for you.

If the dua of a mother can bring that much baraka on a person’s life, you better want your spouse to get that dua from their mother. husband and wife part of your making your spouse a more complete Muslim and getting that dua, and getting that baraka in life that potential … pleasure in the hereafter is when they get those duas from their parents. don’t see your mother-in-law as an opponent in that sense of Kadima because it may be the kidma that your husband or wife gives to their mother that brings that Baraka in your married life and in your life in general and your acceptance in the hereafter, don’t see them as opponents, help your spouse honor their parents.

Shaykh Omar Suleiman

 

Marriage, Mufti Menk

Watch It Immediately If You Are Planning To Get Married ~ Mufti Menk

We were asking a question; are you prepared or are you ready to be a spouse, whether it’s a husband or a wife? Do you have what it takes to be a spouse? Do you know the qualities that t are required for a person to qualify to be a spouse.

If you don’t have communication skills you cannot succeed in a marriage. You need to be very patient, patience is the cornerstone. Patience is a quality that is required for you to be qualified as a person ready to get married. If you don’t have patience, you don’t know how to talk to people.

So if you don’t have patience you end up divorcing people. You end up not realizing that the problems can be resolved.

You need to learn to be slightly selfless. if you’re selfish you’re not going to get along even with the best of the globe. If you address the matters in a beautiful way you will be able to succeed in your marriage.

You need to learn how to talk to people, you need to be patient. You need to be selfless to a great degree, learn to accommodate others.

Sometimes you don’t like to do certain things. You have to learn to like to do certain things that you may not ideally like to do, simply to put a smile on the faces of those whom you love.

So this is the reason why it’s important for us to actually develop these qualities before we get married.

We need to be very kind and kindness begins at home. You need to be generous, don’t be miserly, don’t waste.

How many times are you prepared to utter beautiful words to your spouse? Words of love, words of kindness, politeness, how many times do you look at your spouse and you actually say Beautiful words to them.

When you have an issue becomes a screaming and yelling match, lower your voice.

It’s important for us to know that when you haven’t developed yourself, you really are not ready to get married really. You need to make sure that that you develop your characteristics, your qualities have feeling within you, have mercy. if we don’t have mercy within you,  the other person will not you know be merciful either. If you’re not merciful on your spouse you will never have the mercy of Allah (swt).

A spouse is someone whom you are ready to help; they’re ready to help you.- Mufti Menk

Islam, Mufti Menk, Sort- Reminders

Why Imperfections In Us? – Mufti Menk

This life and this world are full of imperfections.

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Do you know why? Why did Allah subhanahu wata’ala create this world with so much of hardship, difficulty and imperfections? When we say imperfections we mean even humankind as good as the posture maybe, it’s the best posture from all the creatures of Allah.

Allah Subhanahu WA Ta’ala tells us; We have created mankind in the best possible posture.

It means the positioning of every limb and organ of this particular species is absolutely the best.

There is no other position that you can ever come up with that is more superior to the norm that Allah has created.

Allah created us while He says mankind is created in the best of postures. He has allowed and catered for and made imperfections in us, guess why? But Allah had to have some flaws within us. Because Allah subhanahu wata’ala kept perfection for a totally different place, that’s why. If this world was perfect that other place would lose its value. What is that place? Jannah / paradise, mashallah. – Mufti Menk

Important Duas / Supplications, Islam, Mufti Menk, Trials and tribulations

The Fourth Category Knowledge Of Allah! The Crux of Istikharah – Mufti Menk

I know of people who become stressed and depressed to the degree that they stopped praying. I called out to Allah but he doesn’t want to listen. The hadith says Allah will definitely respond your dua for as long as you don’t make haste.

I promise you, you need to have conviction that Allah has heard you and responded you and he will give you what you want, when the time is right.

In the dua of stikharah you say oh Allah if this is good for me my deen, my dunya meaning my religion, my life, my future, etc etc my hereafter then let it happen for me, make it easy for me and give me blessings in it, give me baraka in it. but oh Allah if you know in your knowledge and I don’t know, if you know in your knowledge that it’s not good for me then take it away from me, take me away from it and make me happy with your decree.

What was the degree that you’re not going to get it? So we want something we make Istikharah.

But the dua itself tells you that you know what you are saying if it’s good for me let it happen for me. if it’s not happening for you it means you said if it’s not good for me let it not happen for me so the doors are closed, the road is closed, another door is closed, a third door is closed and you still fighting along like a champion and you don’t know but you just made a dua, say oh Allah it’s not good for me take it away from me.

He is busy taking it away from you and you’re running after it.

This is why when you understand the knowledge of Allah and you ponder over it and you surrender to it. You won’t go wrong. So what is the knowledge of Allah?

He knows what happened, He knows what is happening and He knows what will happen. There is a fourth category that He knows and that’s the crux of the whole is Istikharah, subhanAllah.

He knows what happened, He knows what is happening, He knows what will happen and He knows what will not happen if it were to happen, how it would have happened. Allahu akbar.

What is never going to happen, it was never going to happen, it will never happen, if it did happen how it would have happened is part of the knowledge of Allah.

Now surrender to that. Just surrender to that you’ll be a happy person, believe firmly that the condition you’re in is the best possible condition for you right now. Even if its tough becauseAllah didn’t promise you that your life is going to be easy. He only promised you that He’s going to help you through the way if you have faith and conviction.

-Mufti Menk

Beauty of The Quran, Mufti Menk, Transforming Life

The Biggest Examination Ever – Mufti Menk

Sometimes young people say that’s quite boring; why would Allah make us scared to test us and I tell them you know what why did you go to school? Well, I went to school so that I can live and I can get a job after I’ve graduated and I can do something so that I can earn so that I can have a comfortable life.

Well, Allah says this whole life is just like a school; you’ve come here you can get your qualification so that you have your certificate on the Day of Judgment so that you can have a comfortable eternity, your entire life thereafter will be comfortable. so there will be rules and regulations just like at any school there’s rules and regulations.

 

There will be so much like school but we’re ready to do that for schools and to learn for a few years 20 years to study so hard in order to be able to learn for the next 30 or 40 years because at the age of about 55, 60; they retire you which means your books no longner are gonna help you.

The clock is ticking. Something somehow somewhere needs to change our lives positively. because if it doesn’t we can have wasted our time in life.

we prepare for this worldly life which is not going to last long and we teach our children to prepare for the worldly life that’s not going to last long and it’s not wrong by the way to prepare for it but we prepare for it much more than the interests that we have in the hereafter which is far greater, subhanAllah.

The biggest examination ever is not GCSE, it’s not A level, it’s not your university degree, no. the biggest examination ever, the result of it shall be on the day of judgement. Don’t lose focus.

-Mufti Menk