Divorce is taking place more than ever before. More than half those who are getting married are actually divorcing at some point, some within the first few years of marriage.
- Is it because people don’t know why they are getting married?
- Is it because people are not prepared to sacrifice?
- Is it because we are focused on something we’re not supposed to be focused upon?
- Is it because we haven’t developed our character and conduct?
These are questions that scream for answers.
Allah says that yes, divorce may happen as a last resort. Divorce will happen, it is happening but when it does happen be even more respectful after the divorce than you were within the marriage. Because there are rights that you need to fulfill after divorce that are so crucial to your contentment.
You divorced in order to gain contentment. If you don’t play your cards right thereafter you will lose contentment in a bigger way than what was in the marriage. So what are these rules and regulations?
- Be very respectful
- Don’t utter bad words about your ex,
- If their children involve make sure the custody and access is sorted out in a fair way; the person is biologically the father or the mother. They have rights. Remember to fulfill those rights with respect. If you don’t, you will lose your contentment, you will lose your sleep, you will lose your health, you will lose the pleasure of the Almighty and there is no way that you’re going to succeed
Allah says But if they separate [by divorce], Allah will enrich each [of them] from His abundance. And ever is Allah Encompassing and Wise. (4:130).
Yes, if you need to say something or bear witness for someone respectfully, privately to say this is what happened. That’s why I actually ended up divorcing sometimes. You might want to be marrying again and your future spouse might ask you what went wrong? It is their right to ask you if they want to know they might want to hear your side of the story and they might want to find out the other side as well. It needs to be presented respectfully.
in Surat Annisa Allah (swt) reminds us of something interesting regarding prayer. if you’re a Muslim you should be praying five times a day. But when we pray don’t be lazy, don’t get up in a lazy fashion.
Contentment is found in Salah. Contentment is found in the house of Allah. Contentment is found in the obedience of Allah. if you were to rush through that you would be compromising that contentment.
Allah says Indeed, the hypocrites [think to] deceive Allah, but He is deceiving them. And when they stand for prayer, they stand lazily, showing [themselves to] the people and not remembering Allah except a little, (4:142)
In Surat al-ma’idah, Allah (swt) Ta’ala speaks about the importance of halal, halal and Haram to make sure that you consume that which is halal. If you would like contentment , stay away from that which is prohibited.
Allah says they ask you, [O Muhammad], what has been made lawful for them. Say, “Lawful for you are [all] good foods and [game caught by] what you have trained of hunting animals which you train as Allah has taught you. So eat of what they catch for you, and mention the name of Allah upon it, and fear Allah.” Indeed, Allah is swift in account. (5:4)
Eating from halal or Haram is not only about whether the animal was slaughtered in the proper way but it’s also connected to whether you earned your money in a pure way and whether there was deception in it or not.
Sometimes we get angry with people, we are upset with people. we dislike people and we become unjust with those people because of our dislike for them. Allah warns us in this regard verse number 8 of Surat al-ma’idah.
O you who have believed, be persistently standing firm for Allah, witnesses in justice, and do not let the hatred of a people prevent you from being just. Be just; that is nearer to righteousness. And fear Allah ; indeed, Allah is Acquainted with what you do. (5:8)
Jealousy makes you lose contentment remember one of the sons of Adam alayhis-salam became jealous of the other. As a result he lost contentment.
Allah says And recite to them the story of Adam’s two sons, in truth, when they both offered a sacrifice [to Allah ], and it was accepted from one of them but was not accepted from the other. Said [the latter], “I will surely kill you.” Said [the former], ….. (5:27)
Remember be happy with what Allah has bestowed upon you. Be happy for others. Don’t become jealous. When you were happy for others and what Allah has given them, Allah will grant you contentment. It is a very difficult quality to achieve. – Mufti Menk